Page 3 of Cocky Choices: Zoe Cocker

The.

Floor.

TWO

Zoe

“And then he asked if we were playing darts at The Local this weekend with the gang!” I moan, covering my face with my hands.

Samantha moves one of the plants from my blue end table so she can reach from the armchair she’s sitting on to where I am on my couch. Her hand caresses my shoulder. “Zoe, it’s been years.”

Lexi, on the couch beside me, leans her head onto my other shoulder. “We thought when you guys were acting all flirty that you and Ryder were going to become something more than just friends.”

“But we never have,” I groan, dropping my hands and staring straight ahead. “I kept waiting for him to instigate something romantic and he never has. Why have I wasted so much time?! I’m twenty-nine years old!”

My cousins are silent until Samantha asks, “When did you and Ryder meet again? I forget when he moved here.”

“When I was twenty!” I cry out, adding a shrugged, “I mean, then he went away to college in New York for a little while so he hasn’t always been here but ever since he moved back herefull time, we see each other constantly. When did he get this girlfriend?! Where did she come from?”

Lexi mutters, “Hell.”

I cover my face and let out a primal scream, pausing to gasp, “I can’t believe it!” and scream again.

“Feel better?” Lexi asks with a hint of awe. “That was some sound you just made!”

“You have to let your feelings out or they could turn into something dark, some illness or something.”

Samantha rises from the armchair. “Let me get you some hot water and honey for your throat. You made a battle cry.”

I sigh, “I made agiving up the battlecry,” dropping my hands and pointing to the kitchen. “Honey is in the far right cupboard.”

She smiles, “So weird that we’re inyourplace now. That we don’t live together anymore. That this isn’tHouse Three.”

“Yeah,” Lexi says, stretching her bare feet onto a coffee table littered solely with plants and flowers in colorful planters, since it’s just mine. The entire apartment, small as it may be, is like my old bedroom was in the place we three shared — so filled with plants it’s more arboretum than apartment. As for the planters, I’m not one for having just white. Or any one color, for that matter. I like the brightness of a multitude. “Zoe, Ryder is a good guy but there is a block when it comes to you and him. It’s not meant to be.”

I stare at her, because Lexi often has a bluntness that takes me a second to absorb. “Not meant to be?”

She picks at a string hanging off the hem of her mini-skirt. “Have any scissors?”

“In the utensil drawer. What do you mean, not meant to be?”

“Remember me and Brad?” she says, hopping up and joining Samantha in the kitchen area as Sam opens the drawer for her sister. Lexi grabs the scissors and bends to slice away theoffending string. “I kept waiting forthatto be something it wasn’t.”

Samantha rolls her pretty brown eyes and sarcastically says, “So much fun for all of us.”

Lexi dryly agrees, “Years of fun.”

I exhale, gaze shifting to my wall calendar, vines pinned around it and thriving. This month is relatively quiet except for birthdays. With a family as large as ours there are always birthdays. As I stare, though, I’m not seeing this month but instead the last year and a half which has been jam-packed with new love. “First Wyatt got married, then you guys. My brothers had two babies — Nicholas, Demi, his second child! And Wyatt had Crystal. I’ve got no one of my own.”

The teapot rings its task complete and Samantha turns to remove it from the stove, pouring boiling water slowly into a mug she prepped with honey, lemon and a cinnamon stick. Her long blonde hair is in a high ponytail, and she’s wearing pink workout leggings and matching zipper hoodie since she just got finished teaching dance class at their studio. Compared to Lexi who has her red hair blown out straight and hanging freely over a sexy cream halter and red mini skirt, heels left by the front door, they’re a study-in-contrast. Day wear versus night wear. “You can’t think about it like that, Zoe,” Samantha says, “Comparing yourself to anyone isn’t healthy.”

They return to me, together, with Lexi dragging her feet and enjoyed the feel of my rug between her toes. “Unless you use that comparison as a map. Remember? That’s what we Cockers always say. Jealousy is just a map showing you what you want to have inyourlife. Then you go out and make that thing happen for yourself. Boom. No more jealousy. Takes victimhood out of the equation.” She plops onto the couch beside me again, tucking her toned legs underneath her and patting her lap for Ralphie the cat to jump onto. He obliges, happy for some pets.

I take the offered mug from Sam and say, “Thank you.”

She curls back into the armchair. “Where were you today, Lexi? You’re dressed up. I’ve never seen that blouse before.”

Lexi touches the cream halter with a mischievous smile and meets Samantha’s curious gaze. “Or this skirt. Had a lunch date with my sexy husband so I bought a new outfit.” Running her hand down her hip, admiring the skirt, she sighs, “It was on sale. I haven’t been shopping for clothes in forever. We’re on a budget. But…” She looks at me, then at Sam. “…you know what I’ve decided to do?”

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