Page 16 of Cocky Choices: Zoe Cocker

I frown, considering for the first time what it must be like to have so much status that you feel you have to act a certain way to fit in with that class. My family is what? Middle class? Except for maybe the politicians of us. In fact, this is the first time I’ve thought about ‘class’ in regards to us, at all! None of us has ever cared of such things. Not that I know of. So I answer, “Who cares what people think? If you enjoy it, you do it.”

He stumbles on his words for the first time. “What if… what if you get a rock in your foot?”

“You do sometimes, and so what? There’s something really neat aboutfeelingthe earth when you’re walking. The dirt, the grass. Sand. Any of it and all of it! And you realize that your feet are really good at gripping, naturally.”

“That’s ‘play’?”

“It feels good, and you do it foronly that reason.”

“I get massages. They feel good.”

I exhale, wondering how I can get through to him. “That’s a start. How about festivals? Do you go to festivals?”

“What do you mean? Like, music?”

“And art shows, farmers markets, book fairs. Things like that.”

“Let’s talk about my proposal. This could be really good for both of us.”

Aware he changed the subject, and feeling like it’s one he needs to think about, I ask a question that needs to be asked, my voice wavering slightly, “What if it didn’t work out?”

“Then we’d part ways,” he answers, tone calm and matter-of-fact. “No strings attached, Zoe, just a legal agreement that allows us both to pursue our own lives. And who knows? Maybe we’d build a real friendship together.” At that I stand straighter. I’ve spent too many days wondering if I’ll ever find love. Waiting for a connection that’s reciprocated seems to slip further away with each passing night. The idea of a partnership, a friendship, even one that lacks romantic fireworks… would it be better than how I’ve been living? “Just two people navigating life together. Think of it as an adventure.”

“An adventure?” I whisper, remembering suddenly my promise to Lexi.

“You wouldn’t have to worry about financial pressures. Your flower shop could thrive without the burden of bills hanging over you. And I’d get what I know my family will consider a suitable partner. Also, someone whose company I enjoy who could brighten up my life, the way I believe you would. There wouldn’t be any expectations beyond the legalities. You could run your shop, pursue your dreams — no strings attached. We’d live together, but if we decide that doesn’t work for us, we can live separately at a later date. Figure it out on our own, what works for us.”

Live together?

No more little studio?

Someone to have coffee with in the morning?

I glance around my shop thinking about what it would be like to have no bills, my lease paid every month. Utilities too, I guess. But the thing is, I don’t mind earning my own way. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment when I pay my bills with the money I earn from doing a good job. It’s an achievement and that’s part of the fun. It’s one of the reasons I took out the lease and opened my own shop, and stopped working for someone else, because this is all mine.

It’s worked for.

Paid for.

Earned.

I’m proud of what I’ve built.

It hasn’t beengivento me.

Where’s the fun in that?

Fun.

That’s something that makes his offer interesting. Caleb’s asking me to define ‘playful’ for him has me thinking I could really help him. Maybe Icouldbrighten his life like he said I could. That could be very fulfilling for me.

I’ve always felt that part of why I’m here on this planet is to help people, to make their lives brighter, as I do with my flora and fauna business, butalsowhich I try to do just by being a good person. Making people smile as often as I can.

The world is rough sometimes, so Idotry to make it lighter for people. That he identified that in me, that I could brighten his life, is a little shocking since we just met. I feel not only like I could help him, but also…seen.

“Zoe?” he asks.

“I’m here. Just thinking.”

---