Page 108 of The Fallen Kingdom

“Then don’t consider me reversing time to be a payment, just a gift. After everything you and they have sacrificed, you all deserve a second chance to live away from all of this. You deserve more.”

With one of Lena’s spells, Aithinne will alter the course of time and send us all back. As if none of this had ever happened. The others earned that.

But me? How can I pretend that I never went through all of this? How can I pretend I never met Kiaran? What would I go back to?

Aithinne’s eyes are swirling silver. Deep with power and knowledge and, yes, sadness. “You can’t spend your life mourning him, Aileana. He wouldn’t want you to.” When I say nothing, she continues, “No more fighting. No more war. Take this chance.”

My heart thuds and I look at Lena. “Could you bring back Kiaran and Derrick?” I ask it even though I already know the answer. I just need to hear it.

Lena sighs. “Fae aren’t the same. To bring them back requires a sacrifice. A life for a life.”

A life for a life. I look down at Kiaran, stroking a finger down his pale cheek. I can’t help my first thought—the first vestiges of my grief breaking through the numbness.What will I return to if he isn’t there?

As if she reads my thoughts, Sorcha steps forward. “Don’t,” she snaps. “Don’t you dare give up your stupid human existence to resurrect him.” She swallows hard and I swear I see tears in her eyes. “He deserves better than that.” She runs a shaky hand through her hair and laughs. I wince; she sounds like she’s coming apart. “He deserves better thanthis.”

She’s right. And I promised Catherine I would see her again. I promised. I swallow hard and look down at Kiaran.

I’m going to have to let you go. Just like I let Derrick go.

“What will you do?” I ask Aithinne. “Now that you’re Queen?”

Aithinne smiles sadly. “Create new fae. Build a kingdom with Lena’s help.” She glances at the other faery, who nods calmly. “I have a lot of work to do. If you should receive an invitation to a coronation one day, don’t you dare refuse it. Or I’ll show up on your doorstep and demand cake and dancing.” She takes Lena’s hand and leans forward, as if to touch me. “Are you ready now?”

I shut my eyes and nod.

Aithinne presses her fingers to my temple and murmurs words in her language that sound like the first notes of a lullaby. Lena’s voice joins with hers, quiet and confident and lovely. I never feel the world shift around me. I don’t notice time reverse.

I just hear Aithinne’s last words to me over the dull pounding of my heart:Live a full life, Aileana. The life he gave for yours.

When I open my eyes, I’m sitting on the floor of my bedroom in Edinburgh—but not the teak-paneled bedroom I left behind. There is no map on the far wall that counts Sorcha’s kills. No worktable of faery-killing weapons. No hunting clothes on the floor splattered in mud.

My bedroom is decorated as it was when my mother still lived, the buttercup-cream wallpaper, the gold curtains that shone in the sunlight. Back when my life was uncomplicated and...

And normal. Aithinne has reversed time to when I was seventeen.

I study my blue muslin day dress, then my hands—not covered in calluses. Not speckled with blood. A lady’s hands. They never belonged to a warrior.

“Aileana?”

I go still at the voice calling for me. Tears blur my vision. “Mum?” I stand and start for the doorway, not certain if I heard right.

But there she is, coming down the hall outside my room. “Aileana,” she says, “Don’t forget we’re having luncheon with—” She stops when she sees my tears. “Is something the matter?”

“Mum.” I reach her in two steps. I throw my arms around her and pull her into a crushing embrace. I hold her so tightly that I’m surprised she can still breathe.

She strokes a comforting hand across my back as I sob into her shoulder. “Shh. What’s happened?”

“What date is it?” My voice is trembling. “What year?”

“Aileana.” Now she sounds alarmed. “Do you need me to send for a doctor? Are you—”

“Date. Year.Please.”

“November sixth, eighteen forty-three.” She strokes my hair. “Now tell me. Are you all right?”

Aithinne sent me back to a month before my mother died.Maybe she could still die. Will that change, too?“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “I don’t know yet.”

CHAPTER 47

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