Page 63 of The Vanishing Throne

Daniel shuts his eyebriefly. ‘Then we’ll have to lead them elsewhere.’ He looks at Catherine, his face softening for the first time since I’ve met him. ‘You know what to do if they breach the wards. Lead everyone through the tunnels, and don’t wait for me.’

I watch them embrace, and I have a sudden sense that I shouldn’t be here as they say their good-byes. It’s too intimate. Too final.

Derrick tugs on my ear. ‘Don’t just stare.Dosomething.’

I step forward to grasp Daniel’s arm. He turns to me in surprise. ‘You can’t go out there,’ I tell him.

‘It’s nothing to worry about,’ he says, somewhat gruffly, possibly because I’m showing any concern for him at all. ‘We’ve done this dozens of times before.’

‘For god’s sake, Cyclops,’ Derrick says from my shoulder. His wings flick my ear. ‘Listen to her.’

Daniel glares at Derrick; Derrick glares back. Even though Danielknowsthe fae are coming for me, he’s still going to risk his life to lead them away. I can’t let that happen. I may not be ready to fight Lonnrach, but I’ll be damned if I allow someone else to die for me.

‘Then I’m coming with you,’ I say.

I recognise the look Daniel gives me then– it’s the same expression men gave me at tea parties and balls when I tried to talk to them about science or engineering. The same gentle, patronizing look of a man who wants to thank me for contributing but ultimately doesn’t believe I know what the bloody hell I’m doing.

Derrick’s wings are humming so fast they hurt my ear. ‘Aye, and I’m going, too,’ he says. At Daniel’s sharp look, Derrick says, ‘What? I’m immortal and she’s a Falconer. We stand a better chance at holding them off than the rest of you. I’ve seen you with a sword. You’re shite.’

Daniel is unmoved. ‘I recall her yelling something about a Falconer in the underneath, and it doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.’

‘And it makes no difference. She’s not coming.’ Gavin joins us, his expression harsh. ‘Aileana stays with Catherine. Tavish will remain here and watch from afar; he’ll alert you if anything happens.’

What on earth is he doing?

Daniel, Gavin, andLorne turn and stride to the exit. Catherine glares at her brother’s back. ‘Don’t listen to him. You should be out there, too.’

I nod. ‘Derrick, give me a minute.’

‘No,’ Derrick says. ‘I don’t want you alone with him after what he did to you.’

I still don’t trust Gavin either. I can’t help the hurt of betrayal every time I look at him, even after he explained why he didn’t tell me about the wisps.

With a quick stroke down Derrick’s wings, I say, ‘I’ll be in your view the whole time. I promise.’

He grudgingly flies off my shoulder and I hurry after the men. I pull Gavin back by the fabric of his shirt before he can escape.

‘Let me pass,’ he says.

‘No. Have you gone daft? Youknowwhat I am.’

Gavin crosses his arms. ‘And that’s why you’re staying.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘If you go out there with us, they’ll stop at nothing until they have you. They’ll call reinforcements and we might not make it out alive.’ He keeps his voice low so Catherine doesn’t overhear. ‘We’re trying to lead them away, not incite a battle.’

‘I wouldn’t fight them,’ I say. ‘Just let me be there in case something happens.’

‘I saidno.’ Gavin speaks so sharply that I almost back away. ‘I can’t take your word that you won’t start slaughtering them out there. I’ve seen you kill. I’ve been there. What was it you told me?You revel in it.’ He shakes his head. ‘Even if you kept your promise, you’ll do nothing but give them more of an incentive to find us.’

My chest aches at his words. I don’t need to find where Lonnrach marked that memory on me. I don’t need to see it to recall the satisfaction I once got from a kill, the hunger to kill again. It was what I lived for; it was my purpose. I basked in the hunt as if I needed it like air.

‘You don’t trust me,’ I say, already knowing his answer.

The truth is I don’t blame him.I made you the same as me, Kiaran once said.The same. Now I wonder if he meant himself as Kiaran, or if he meant Kadamach.

Gavin’s features soften, as if he reads my thoughts. ‘That’s not it. When the day comes that we need to fight, you’re the one I want by my side.’ He takes me by the shoulders. ‘I do trust you. I do. Just not with this.’

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