Page 58 of The Falconer

Until I have no choice but to land in the water. So I grab the latches attached to my parachute and sink as close to the surface as I dare before pulling on them to release the canopy.

I fall the last few feet and it’s like hitting stone, so frigid that I gasp and almost suck water into my lungs. Then I’m pulled under, dragged down and down by the Forth’s ever-changing current.

I fight and kick above water to heave in air, opening my eyes to gaze up at the low, heavy clouds and the onslaught of rain. I can barely move my limbs, but I force my legs to tread, to stay afloat any way I can. I fight against the current. My legs buck and cramp. I swallow and the saltiness makes me gag as I’m sucked underwater again.

I kick myself back up and look around frantically for land. A short distance from me is a rocky beach.

Swimming there is excruciating. The heavy, waterlogged material of my dress floats around me and pulls me down. It is an encumbrance, a test of my strength. I endure it, swimming with the help of the incoming tide, until I can crawl on my stomach across the jagged rocks of the beach, on land at last.

I cough up the water in my lungs and roll onto my back. Rain sprinkles my face, sliding down my cheeks. I press my palm to my chest and feel my heart thumping steadily within.Alive.Still alive.

I watch the clouds glide overhead, their rapid movement dizzying. I’m uncertain how long I lie there. Time ceases to matter. All I care about is the organ beating firmly beneath my fingertips.

‘Aileana!’

I turn my head slowly. My vision is hazy, but I recognise Gavin racing towards me. The ornithopter is parked on the beach behind him. I never even heard it land.

‘Aileana, thank God.’ He kneels beside me. ‘Are you hurt?’

‘No,’ I croak, licking salt off my lips. ‘But I’m just going to lie here a moment.’ My words are slurred. ‘See? Hard to kill.’

Gavin swears softly as he removes his frock coat and lays it on top of me. ‘If death ever comes to take you, I imagine it will be due to your own stupidity.’

‘Water’s cold,’ I say.

‘That’s because you’re lying in it.’

He’s trying not to yell at me, I think. The sensible, gentlemanly approach to a woman he no doubt believes to be absolutely insane.

I smile wanly and study the way his blond hair curls into the collar of his filthy shirt. A memory flashes, unprovoked, of the day he left for Oxford. The silly vow I made to myself that when he returned, he would never treat me as a second sister again.

The thought makes me laugh. ‘Do you know, I wrote to you while you were away.’

Good heavens, why did I say that? My mind is muddled, unfocused, probably because I’m so cold.

Gavin glances at me, startled. ‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Letters. Five of them.’

‘I never got any letters.’

I laugh again, rather drunken sounding, and shift my bottom on the sharp rocks. A wave barrels in and completely drenches my legs again, but I still don’t bother moving. I think I’ll pass out if I move. ‘Never sent them.’

‘What did they say?’

‘Dear Gavin.’ My teeth chatter around the words. ‘Today I accidentally smeared ink across my mouth. I thought of you.’

‘You did not write that.’

‘I did.’ I grin. ‘If I wrote one today, it would say: Dear Gavin, today I saved your life. Please remember that before you reproach me.’

He pulls me into a sitting position. Another wave comes in and I begin to shudder uncontrollably. My teeth click together so hard that my jaw aches.

‘As I recall,’ he says, pulling his coat more tightly around me, ‘you tackled me from behind.’

‘So?’

‘How do I know I was in any real danger? Maybe you just wanted a bit of a cuddle.’

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