Page 102 of The Falconer

He lost her and now he’s left with a daughter who will never, ever be her. I’m a pale echo of the woman he loved more than anyone else in the world. I’ll always remind him of what he lost. What webothlost.

I say the only thing I can. ‘I miss her, too.’

‘I know,’ he whispers.

Our grief destroyed and recreated us. We should have grown closer after my mother died. Her death made me realise just how swiftly we can lose the ones we love, gone for ever in an instant.

I turn to leave, because if I don’t, I’ll try once more to run into his arms and grip him tight, the way I used to when I was a child. He’d always push me away. Always. ‘Goodbye, Father,’ I say instead, turning to leave. ‘Enjoy your trip.’

Later that night, I sit with Kiaran beside the fire in my bedroom, he in the leather chair, me on the settee. I’m exhausted after hours spent trying to figure out the key to the seal as we worked on our weapons.

‘Is this our goodbye?’ I ask.

I’ve said too many goodbyes today. Earlier, I watched Father get into his carriage and leave, just as he said he would. I’ve never felt more alone.

‘I don’t say goodbyes,’ Kiaran says, staring into the fire.

‘Too difficult?’

His mouth quirks up. ‘Only the ones worth saying.’

‘What will they do to you?’ I ask. ‘If you’re trapped in the mound with them, will they—’

‘Kam,’ he interrupts. ‘Don’t ruin this.’

I stare at him, watching a strand of hair slide onto his forehead. He reaches up to push it back with his long, graceful fingers.

Stay with me, I almost say. I don’t know why the thought of losing him fills me with grief, but it does, and it won’t abate. I’ve lost too much already. ‘Leave the battle before I activate the device,’ I say. ‘Like you did before. I’ll trap them, and we can hunt the others together – the same as we always have.’

‘This is the downside of immortality, Kam.’ He looks at me then, studies my face. ‘Nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Except me.’

‘There must be more than a few people who wish for that.’

‘Because they don’t understand what it truly means.’ He stands and rests his hands against the chimneypiece. Firelight outlines his body, swathing him in golden light. ‘Do you know why thesìthicheancrave human energy above all else?’

No.’

‘Because it burns so brightly. Humans pulse with vitality and an unending, compulsive need to cling to life. One taste lets us bask in mortality we have no other way of experiencing.’

‘Have you ever wished you were human?’

He glances at me. ‘Nowthat,’ he says, ‘is something I’ve never been asked before.’ I wait for him to continue, but he straightens and says, ‘I have something for you.’

‘An answer to my question?’

He smiles. ‘A gift.’

‘A gift?’ Kiaran doesn’t give me gifts. I’m immediately suspicious. ‘What is it?’

‘Flowers.’

I blink. ‘Really?’

‘No. Shall I go and get it, or would you prefer to ask more questions instead?’

Two minutes later, he returns with a small trunk tucked under one arm and something shining in his fist.

He tosses the gleaming object to me. It’s a lightweight gold disc in the shape of a star, only slightly bigger than my palm. Beautifully crafted, smooth metal with delicate etchings similar to the ones on the seal. My word, it’s magnificent.

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