Page 6 of Of Blood and Smoke

It was one of those tricky things. My dad flipped out once when he realized I wouldn’t bring friends over and be a “normal woman.” To reassure me, he’d gotten one of those white noise machines and he always slept with a fan on so I wouldn’t worry about disturbing him. It just felt strange to have people over and be drinking alcohol and living life with your sick father just across the apartment.

“You know I hate that,” I finally replied.

Ashley looked at me pointedly. “I know but your dad made me promise. Remember how he freaked when he found out you wouldn’t bring anyone around? He threatened you too, if I’m remembering correctly.”

I caved. “Fine. But the same rules apply.”

“Of course. Not once have we ever bothered him. And I think he likes it. Iknowhe likes me,” she grinned. “We make him feel young. Daddy DuBois, the cute, suave Frenchman.”

“Creep. Stay away from my dad.” I laughed, getting out of her car. “You’re disgusting.” I knew she was only joking but I was no stranger to my friends getting starry-eyed over my dad, he was a good-looking man.

She laughed. “I’m gonna go park and we’ll be over in a little bit.”

Ashley drove off to leave her car at her apartment, just a block away, and get the guys. They were waiting for her, and they would all walk over together. There was no guest parking here without the risk of your vehicle being gone when you got back.

Police cars, a SWAT truck, and an ambulance had taken over the far end of the parking lot in a flurry of activity where people were also milling about. A woman was screaming, and a group of teenagers were sitting on a stoop filming the commotion with their phones. No one paid me any mind; it was just a typical weekend. The chaos had been jarring when I first moved in, and I’d been terrified. But then, I realized everyone just lived their lives and did what they had to do despite it. I followed suit, adapting to the conditions.

My dad was up when I walked in, boiling a hotdog. “Hey, Della, honey.”

“Hi, Dad. Ashley and the guys are stopping by. Is that okay?” I swung around the table and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Dad poured water from the pot down the sink and grabbed a plate from the cabinet. He muttered under his breath and then said, “You better.”

“I better what?” I grabbed a mug for him from the rack on the counter. He used coffee cups for his drinks, the handles helping provide some stability for his shaky hands.

He grunted. “Have friends over.”

Grabbing his lap tray from the top of the refrigerator I followed him back to his room, carrying the cup of water. I helped him settle in and then asked, “Can I get you anything? We have movie night coming up soon.”

Once or twice a month, we hung out together eating snacks and had a movie night. We took turns deciding which film to watch, but I insisted on him choosing more often than not. He usually pickedAncient Aliens, X Files,or a48 Hoursbinge. They weren’t movies, but I liked watching the programs together.

He shook his head and pulled the tray closer. “No, this is good. Thank you. Go have fun. I might start Mulder and Scully again. It’s on Hulu.” Dad loved his spooky shows, so I knew where my fascination came from.

After kissing his forehead, I said goodnight and softly closed the door. I heard him turn on the television and his noise machine, the two devices competing to provide the racket that soothed and blocked outside noises.

No matter how much he insisted, I always felt slightly guilty hanging out with my friends and having fun. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did. The one time I really tried to put my foot down about keeping our apartment quiet for him, he’d strained himself so badly he slept for over twenty-four hours. He’d gotten so mad and told me I couldn’t control everything.

I didn’t want to be responsible for him depleting himself like that again. I hated feeling helpless to change our situation so I did whatever I could to try and make things easier for him. We had a good, orderly system down and I didn’t like rocking the boat. Maybe I couldn’t controleverything, but I could still create a peaceful environment.

The door buzzer sounded, and I hit the button that would let my friends in after checking my phone for a text.

“Where’s Dad?” Ashley immediately asked, as Brett and Andy trailed in behind her.

“Eating and resting in his room,” I informed her.

Andy went directly to the couch and began unbagging what smelled like Chinese take-out. “Utensils?” Ashley went to the appropriate kitchen drawer and took out the forks before heading to the living room.

“What’s up?” Brett turned to me, placing a hand at the small of my back and nuzzling my neck. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He wanted to be but he just wasn’titfor me and our history was rather...bumpy. I liked him for the most part—when he wasn’t annoying me or reminding me of my mistakes.

I leaned in and let him hold me close for a moment. “Let’s go to the living room.” Brett picked up a paper bag I hadn’t seen him carry in and then we settled on the couch.

Ashley held her phone toward me, and I got back up to peer at the screen. She was sitting on the loveseat on the other side of the low table dividing the sofas. “Wait—is that what I think it is? Did they just give you a date and time, without asking?”

“Uh-huh,” she said nodding. “You fill yours out yet?”

“You know I didn’t,” I remarked. “We just got back.”

She grabbed a hard seltzer from Brett, who was holding a white metal can toward her. “All this time and nothing, and now look. You better fill out your application asap,” she said, popping open the drink.

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