Page 99 of Of Blood and Smoke

Just as Della had broken free of her circumstances with help from others, I was undergoing the same.

I now understood her reluctance to accept what I’d offered a little bit better than I had. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, allowing others in, not when one was used to being their own source of strength. The trust it required was encompassing and I sincerely hoped I didn’t come to regret relying on Kiam.

Micha stood in a corner of the room formed of natural river rock watching while Kiam led me through marking thirteen Second Realm specific runes inside the circle he’d directed me to draw with chalk. The chamber was deep underground, belowthe castle-like fortress, with the sound of dripping water in the distance.

Every step of the elaborate instructions had to be performed by my hand, guided by the print-out spell. This all took an immense level of effort on my part, to let down my guard and allow all the sensations to bombard me, rendering me vulnerable to any machinations Kiam may have harbored against me.

“Rein it in, Josiah,” he warned me, more than once. “Refocus.”

Micha sent me a sympathetic glance as I retracted my blossoming aura of anger with a hiss. “You need to find a balance,” Kiam advised.

He was repeating what I’d been told earlier upstairs. Logically, I’d known this somewhere deep inside. Without even noticing, I’d moderate my errant emotional impulses in the Third Realm when I didn’t completely lock them out.

This was different than shutting out the chaotic vibrations, frequencies, sights, sounds, and scents. This ran deeper and it’d been blocked by Ezra’s curse.

Simply, I needed to take more notes of the times my innate magical blood rose and seize it, and then I’d have the balance spoken of and be the precision weapon I always should’ve been. The enchantment placed on me restricted me from acting, for the most part, in any way not to the advantage of the Court, to Ezra.

When I’d used magic, it’d had one aim. There’d been exceptions, as there was to any rule, due to the slow erosion of time. I’d been stymied, and Micha nearly the same. He’d been able to fight off Ezra better than I.

For the sake of control, I’d always dampened my demonic roots and ignored the buffet of tactile sensations and sounds. The allure of a myriad of emotions fluttering about in theatmosphere had always called to me but I’d forsaken those feelings for the steadfast duty of a cold and austere persona.

Della had somehow begun breaking down those walls, without any magic of her own. Even so, my Modis operandi was by default stark and stern for everyone but those closest to me, effectively shutting everything out.

My confidence increased, knowing I would effect change. For a quarter of a second, I detected what may have been pride crossing my teacher’s face. Kiam’s expression returned to stone before I could be certain.

“Commence,” Kiam ordered.

Switching my gaze from the wall to the ground in front of me, I knelt and placed the sheet of paper before me, placing my palms on the cold river rock. The candles in the walls flickered, and a breeze stirred through the ceremonial space. My gaze darted about, automatically scanning for danger. There was none, and I returned to the cream-colored instructions.

As the words left my mouth, I channeled everything I could into each sentence, letting the weight of the spell slide from my tongue with authority and passion. I allowed myself to feel everything, engaging the emotions I’d always shut off when tapping into magic.

Anger, vengeance, and hatred were there but now I allowed the love I had for Della to flow. Then the hidden, softer side of my being welled within me to compliment the darker urges. I wasn’t lying to myself as I had when I first visited Della, telling myself it was for the security of the Court, nor was I focused on any threats to my company that could shed a negative light on the Collective. This was all for me.

It was as though something was breaking inside, as if a thousand tiny pieces of shattering glass ran through my veins. I groaned, the odd sensation lightly cutting me from the insideout. Painful, but also a relief, like pulling a splinter from the palm of my hand.

Bowed over from the sensation, I straightened my spine. I was ready to summon and instruct the wraiths.

The candlelight snuffed out suddenly, before re-sparking, and a wind picked up, roaring through the chamber. Shadows began to form, and the scent of death and decay filled the room.

FORTY-SEVEN

Della

“What the fuck?” A woman wearing a large, feathered hat gasped, horrified.

It hurt when I hit the solid marble that lined the floor, but I sprung up, ready to fight. “Exactly.” I glared at her. “What the fuck.” I wasnotdinner.

Voices began to raise in complaint and the two men that’d used me as a centerpiece grabbed me just as Ezra rushed over. “You don’t have any magic,” he sneered at me. “I would’ve detected it, someone would’ve.”

“You’re right, I don’t. Guess you’re just not used to me. Why was I on the table?”

Ezra’s eyes burned with anger, a fiery orange glow seeming to almost leap from the sockets. “Take her to her room—now!”

“What do you want with me?” I called back to him as the men started to drag me away. Josiah had told me to go along with everything but that didn’t stop me from trying to stomp on the men’s feet.

Ezra’s hand shot out, freezing the three of us in place. “Did you know human flesh is a delicacy?” My stomach did a little flip-flop. “You have no magic yet, you used magic. You’re here tolure Josiah in—and I know he will come for you eventually.” Ezra smirked. “However, you’re a human aberration and we need to draw samples. You’ll remain in your room,” he added.

A flick of his hand released us, and my heels skidded along the floor once more. “Why do you want Josiah?” I yelled to the man.

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