Page 62 of Of Blood and Smoke

The argument with my morals sat firmly in my head. I was used to violence; I’d seen it and lived with it for a while. There’d been more than one occasion where I’d nearly rolled an ankle on a spent shell casing or had to take a detour to avoid a body in the parking lot. When I said the neighborhood I’d lived in before finally affording something better had been rough, I wasn’t exaggerating.

Plus, hanging out with Brett in the past had desensitized me a bit. He’d kept me away from most of his and his friends’ “adventures,” but I’d overheard enough to know that at least they’d had a purpose behind their actions. None of it had ever seemed to bother Ashley either, due to her having grown up in Bridgeport, Connecticut. That place was on the news constantly due to the incredible amount of violence the city experienced.

Were Ashley and my ethics questionable? Maybe. But we’d never been able to feel all that bad about someone getting what was coming to them after they’d assaulted a woman or killed a child, or stolen things that weren’t theirs to take.

Brett and Andy didn’t associate with the scum of the earth and they and their friends’ ways while criminal, made sense. Somuch sense that I didn’t even really give it much thought—it was justlife.

But Josiah and his murder room were on a whole other level. While I now understood, much to my bewilderment, that he was an honest-to-God vampire and demon and maybe needed to kill to survive, it was still asking a lot of me.

I mean, who had a killing room in their house? On one hand it was kinda cool that he had organized his life so neatly and orderly, but on the other hand—yikes. It was one thing to enjoy horror movies but entirely another to star in one.

Was I going to get arrested by hanging out with him? Implicated in a murder? If that happened, then what was going to happen to my dad? He’d be all alone and devastated I was in prison. If his health problems didn’t kill him, that would for sure. At least Josiah had the money to be able to protect himself, and me, by default.

I’d spent a lot of time over the last couple of weeks considering the issues continuing a relationship with Josiah would bring me, and when he went with me to visit my dad, I knew I was in deep trouble.

We entered the long-term care facility and checked in at the desk. I’d expected the woman to have a reaction other than “Hello, Mister Ipomoea” but apparently, the two of them had gotten acquainted already. No introduction was necessary since Josiah had dropped off every DVD box set of theX-Filesin existence for my father and bought a state of the art Blue Ray player for him. I guess he’d paid attention when I casually mentioned it was my dad’s favorite television show when I was little.

It’d come up when I started grilling my vampire-demon lover during another park visit, on subjects such as werewolves—unfortunately they do exist, just not in the United States, Slenderman—probablya witch with a glamour talent, Bigfoot—yes, sea monsters—yes, Superman—a resounding “no” along with some annoyed side-eye, Mothman—yes, and Antman—a sigh and a “no.”

Of course, I’d had more questions, but Josiah had become uncomfortable and said we needed to leave the park because there were “undesirables” around. Now that I knew it wasn’t just humans roaming the earth, I didn’t argue, and we left.

The receptionist nodded at the two men Josiah had started bringing with him everywhere and the four of us walked down to my dad’s room, leaving the guards waiting just outside the doors. Traveling with a mini entourage was strange, but I figured I’d get used to it. He’d said there were more undesirables around than usual and wanted extra security.

It tugged on my heart every time I saw my dad lying there with the wires and the soft beeping of his monitor. His room was well-appointed, with soft colors and textures, and a living area. That’s where Josiah sat, in one of two seats at a table, while I made myself comfortable in a sofa chair at dad’s bedside.

Gently, I lifted my dad’s hand and held it. It was painful every time. My strong, capable father who’d worked hard all his life to provide for me, had been struck down by fate, deserted, and left to die. But he wouldn’t die alone, I’d make sure of that.

Sliding his latest book off the cabinet next to the bed, I began to read to him, getting lost in the latest tale of military intrigue.

Josiah passed the time alternating between staring out the window and working on his phone. He seemed to live in his office, but lately he’d been leaving shortly after me and hanging out in my apartment. We’d tabled the whole “you’re moving in with me” thing for another time but he insisted it was inevitable. We were spending a lot of time together, but I still wanted my space.

Ashley and Andy came over once for dinner while Josiah was there and after her initial discomfort over hanging out with theBig Boss, we’d had a nice evening. Andy hadn’t seemed to care one way or the other, which helped Ashley. My life wouldn’t have to change that much, I’d told myself, ignoring the fact it fundamentally had in multiple ways already.

When I realized my attention was waning, I snapped the book shut. I always closed the hardcover books a little too hard, hoping it’d wake him up. It hadn’t, yet.

“Do you think he knows I’m here? How am I supposed to introduce the two of you? He’s going to be so sad when he wakes up.” I knew he’d be super disappointed to have missed out on everything in his daughter’s first relationship that meant anything important. I’d started to think of Josiah as my boyfriend, despite the lack of labels.

Josiah stood up and crossed the room. “With your permission, I can try to read him,” he offered.

“You can do that?”

He nodded. “I know this is intensely personal for you so I wouldn’t do it unless you allowed me.”

Stunned, I asked, “What do you have to do to read him?” Other than letting him suck on me, or his super-convenient magical way of opening doors without touching them, I’d started to tend to forget Josiah had abilities beyond human. Most of the time he was just an incredibly sweet and ridiculously hot man that I spent a lot of hours with inside and outside the bedroom.

We were still in the honeymoon stage, and I hoped to stay there. There was no way I’d win a debate with an immortal creature that’d had multiple lifetimes to learn how to effectively win arguments.

“Access his aura and soul and break it down, essentially. It doesn’t hurt. It's difficult to describe the exact mechanisms. But I can trace him by doing so and see inside him.”

Sitting up, I asked, “What do you mean, do you think he’s not here?”

“It's likely he’s not, due to being in a coma. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not aware of your presence.”

I thought about it for a moment. “Okay, let’s do that.”

Josiah nodded and then leaned over my dad, moving his hand about two inches over his face before placing a finger on his forehead. Then he bent further, angling for the neck, and I heard the slight inhale. He righted himself, his eyes shut, and several seconds ticked by, my pulse beating harder and harder under my skin as I waited.

“Well?” I asked, impatiently, when Josiah opened his eyes and looked at me.

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