Page 12 of Shadow

I owe her the truth,I remind myself.

“I don’t think there is an easy way to say this, so I’m just going to lay it out on the line.”

“Okay.” Lindsey is far too calm right now. She should be concerned about what I’m about to say.

“Linds. I’m the kid that was on the back of the horse that killed your mother.” There. I said it. The words are out and hanging in the air between us.

“What?” Her forehead scrunches together the way it always has when she’s deep in thought.

“I was six. My dad insisted I needed to learn how to ride and swore that Bacon was safe to ride on. He wasn’t. Your mom kept me from getting hurt but put herself in danger to save my life. I remember the whole thing. She’d still be here today if she had only let me go.”

Lindsey blinks a few times and wipes her eyes. “That can’t be right. Dad always said it was a young girl,” she pauses. “Wait. Have they known all this time? Garrett is that why you came here, why you took a job with us when you turned sixteen? Tell me my family hasn’t been lying to me and forcing you to pay some unfair penance for something so far beyond your control.”

I shake my head. “The only person that I’ve ever talked about it with is Kevin. And before you go running out of here to read him the riot act, he only found out after you left for college. I couldn’t take it anymore and I told him. I begged him not to tell your family because I was afraid I’d lose everything I’d worked for. You all took me in and treated me like family. I had a job and a place in this world and if I lost that, well, Lord knows where I’d be. When I showed up here at sixteen it was because my father was in jail and I needed to make things right, but I didn’t want anyone to know. I was afraid everyone would hate me.”

“Garrett.”

“I told you, I’m not the man you think I am.”

Lindsey begins laughing hysterically. “Oh, Garrett. You’re such a damn fool.”

I don’t get her laughter but I have to agree, “You’re right. I know I am.”

She stands and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and looking up at me. “Garrett Everleigh, you cannot blame yourself for what happened to my mother. You don’t owe us anything. You owe yourself peace.”

I shake my head. “No. I wasn’t ready to ride, much less jump. Not by a long shot. And I was always afraid of Bacon. I should have fought my dad harder, ya know?”

“You were six!” She pokes my chest. “Garrett, you were a goddamn child. You’re not responsible for anything that happened that day and I can promise you, no one in my family would blame you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” I shrug.

“Okay. Take Kevin for example. What was his reaction?”

This time I chuckle. “Actually, he told me he already knew but he never said how he knew.”

“And did he blame you?”

“No. He said the same things you did.”

“See. This is why you’re a fool,” She smiles up at me. “Garrett, what happened to my mom was a freak accident. It’s a risk that comes with doing what we do. Is that why you’ve been paying towards my sponsorships and why you paid for my family to fly to the games in Rio?”

“Not really.”

“Hm. Then why did you do all of that?”

I already took one chance tonight, I might as well take another. “Because I love you.”

A grin lights her entire face and she pushes up on to her tiptoes to kiss me. I’m about to pick her up and carry her out of here when the tack room door unlocks and slides open. Kevin’s laughter bellows out.

“Oh, this is perfect. It took you two long enough. And. You’re both welcome by the way.”

Lindsey at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed but she’s not letting go of me.

“We’re welcome for what exactly?” she asks.

“Dad saw the lights still on and was going to come out here to investigate. I had a feeling when I saw you wander off to the barn and said I’d do it before I went to bed.”

Lindsey’s face flushes. “Better you than Dad for sure.”

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