Page 28 of Love Under Construction

“So you’re saying, I should date Jameson?”

“I’m saying that putting yourself out there can be healing. What’s the harm in seeing where things go if you take him out of the enemy zone? But first, I think you’re going to have to mend that fence with him.”

Laura lets me change the subject,this time,and a short while later, I’m walking out of her office with another appointment for a week from now. I feel raw, exposed, and exhausted but I feel a little lighter, hopeful too.

Chapter 16

Jameson

There isn’ta damn thing for me to do tonight. Harley’s working this evening, Liv made sure she nailed the door shut between her and I. I decided I’d put in some overtime down at The Mason Center site. A couple of the guys on the crew offered to stay behind and work on some stuff with me, pushing us even further ahead of schedule. Soon, I’ll be done with this place and moving on to the next project. A project far away from New York City and Olivia Hawthorne.

I promised her I planned to stay, but that was when I thought I had something here worth waiting for. Knowing I’m the source of some of her anxiety? I sure as hell won’t be sticking around.

By nine o’clock, I finally decide that I’ve worked these guys, and myself, hard enough for one day. “Alright, let’s call it quits. The rest of this will be here on Monday.”

The guys all hustle and clean up the job site.

“You working tomorrow?” Aiden asks.

“I might stop over and see what else I can work on. Not sure yet.” I shrug.

“Call if you do, I don’t have any plans.” He offers. Aiden’s one of the single guys on the crew, and he’s addicted to building things as much as I am.

“Sure. Now let’s get the hell out of here.”

It’s almost ten when I finally walk into the lobby of 425 Madison. I’m waiting for the elevator when it dings. The doors open, Jake and a few of the other guys I recognize from around the building step off.

“Hey, Jameson, right?” Jake tips his head and offers his hand.

“Yeah, how’s it going, Jake?”

“Not too bad. We’re heading to the liquor store, going to hang out on the deck tonight. You should join us.” Jake offers. “Pizza, beer, video games on the outdoor screen.”

“You know, that sounds like a good idea,” I pull out my wallet and a few bills. I could use a distraction. “Would one of you mind grabbing a six pack of Corona for me? Put the rest toward pizza. I’ll head upstairs and change out my work clothes then meet you on the roof.”

Jake takes my cash and nods, “Sure thing. Do you want anything specific on your pizza?”

“Nah, I’ll eat whatever.”

“Cool, we’ll catch you in a bit.”

I get on the elevator and press the button for the fifth floor, thankful that there are no other stops on the way up. It dings on my floor, the doors open and I step off, taking the left turn toward my apartment. The urge to keep going and walk past my door, to Liv’s is strong, but I made myself a promise. I’m letting her go.

Shaking my head, I open up my apartment door instead and make a beeline for the shower to wash away today’s hard work.

A six pack of beer and half a pizza later, I’m feeling pretty relaxed. Jake and his friends are fun to hang around with, all of us have taken turns playing the latestCall of Dutyon the deck’s big screen while trash talking.

We make it to almost midnight before Jake’s girl, and a few of the other’s girlfriends show up and crash the party. No one seems to mind, except for me and the ache in my chest. I wish Liv were here. I wish she were mine. That she was willing to take a chance on us, but more importantly, I want her to see herself the way I do.

With my mood dampening and all the lovebirds pairing off, I can’t think of a better excuse to get out of here. Clapping Jake on the back, I say my goodbyes and thank the guys for letting me hang with them tonight before taking my sullen ass back to my apartment.

It takes all of my restraint, not to check on Liv when I get back on the fifth floor. It would be so easy to knock on her door and tell her that I’m in love with her. That I’ve loved her for a long time. In my mind, I know it’s no use. My heart doesn’t want to listen.

I pause outside her door and touch a hand to the cold surface like it will somehow connect me to the woman inside.

“Whoa. Dude. What are you doing?” I hear the elevator ding, and Harley’s voice startles me.

“Nothing,” I shake my head and step back.

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