Page 38 of Forbidden Desires

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Suzie

The warm weight of Pete on one side and Dexter on the other should feel suffocating after what we just did, but it doesn't. It feels... safe. Comforting, even.

Their combined body heat makes the room feel like a furnace, but I’m not moving an inch. Pete's hand strokes lazy circles on my back, and Dexter's fingers tangle with mine.

It's perfect.

Too perfect.

That's the problem.

A quiet sigh escapes me, and Pete's hand stills.

"You okay, babygirl?" His deep voice is soft like he's scared of shattering whatever this is.

I bury my face into his chest, inhaling the faint scent of his signature shower gel. It's grounding, but it doesn't stop the swirling thoughts from flooding my brain.

"I don't know," I admit, my voice muffled against his skin.

Dexter shifts beside me, propping himself up on an elbow. His free hand brushes a strand of damp hair from my face. "Talk to us, sunshine," he urges gently.

I glance between them, their faces lit with concern. The words I need to say are caught in my throat, tangled in fear and doubt. But if I don't say them now, things will just get drawn out, until it's too late to have these kinds of conversations without my tiny secret affecting things.

"I'm scared," I finally whisper.

Pete's hand resumes its soothing strokes. "Scared of what?"

My eyes close, the weight of their attention heavy but not unwelcome. "Of this. Of how good this feels. Of what happens when your month here is up, and you go back to your lives."

The silence stretches between us, thick and suffocating. I force myself to keep going, to push past the lump in my throat.

"You already have each other. You don't need me. Not really. And I... I could fall for you. I'm already halfway there, and it's terrifying because I know how this ends. You leave, and I'm just forgotten, left to pick up the broken pieces like the last time Pete broke up with me."

Dexter's sharp inhale cuts through the air and Pete pulls me closer, his hold almost desperate.

"Suzie," Pete says, his voice low and firm. "That's not?—"

"No," I interrupt, sitting up and pulling the sheet around me like a shield or some kind of armor. "Don’t tell me it won't happen. It's happened before. People make promises, say all other good things, and then they leave when it gets too hard. Or they break up with you for your own good and send you halfway across the world." A sob escapes, and I take a deep steadying breath, trying to get control of my emotions.

How the hell had I let it get to this point? We were enjoying each other just a few short moments ago and now I was in the middle of a manic meltdown.I know it’s likely pregnancy hormones, but I can’t say that out loud, nor can I stop the emotions from spiraling.

"What happens when you both realize this is too hard?”

Dexter sits up at this too, his expression stricken. "You're not hard work. A relationship with you... Sunshine, it's everything. We?—"

"We've been planning. Planning to move here," Pete blurts out, his voice cutting through Dexter's. "We're looking into transferring here. Making this a permanent move. If this is where you want to be, this is where we want to be too."

His words hit me like a slap, and I stare at him in stunned silence.

"What?" My voice trembles, disbelief and anger bubbling to the surface.

"We didn't want to push you too fast," Dexter adds quickly, sending a sharp glare in Pete's direction. "But we've been talking to our clients and contacts, figuring out how we can make this work long-term."

"Long term?" I repeat, the word tasting bitter in my mouth. My heart is racing now, not from the warmth of their presence but from the sheer panic clawing its way up my throat. "You're serious."

Pete reaches for me, but I scoot back, my head shaking wildly.

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