My brain does the math. And when I don't like the results, I pull out my phone, completely ignoring the kind, young doctor standing in front of me. With trembling fingers I scroll through it, looking for the app I use to track my cycle.
Fuck. My. Life.
I'm late. More than two weeks already. But with all the upheaval and change, I didn't even notice the time go by.
I'm pregnant.
The words hit me like a large wave. My mind blanks. The poor doctor is telling me something, but I can't bring myself to focus on her. There's something about vitamins, rest, and follow-up appointments, but all I can manage is a nod to her as I take a pamphlet from her and stumble out of the clinic.
There's a cab waiting right outside the door, and I climb in.
"I'm waiting for someone, miss," the driver says to me, but silences when he turns around in his seat to look at me.
How bad must I look? I'm guessing pretty fucking bad because instead of making me get out of the car, he starts the meter.
"Where we going, miss?"
How in the hell did this happen? I'm on birth control. Have been for ages. I've never missed a shot, and my next one wasn't due for two more months.
By the time we pull up to my apartment building, the shock has worn off slightly. I send a quick text to Bobby, letting him know I'm at home, and the doctor gave me the all clear. I mean, it’s not a complete lie.
My hand drifts to my stomach without thinking. There's nothing to feel yet—no bump, no change. But there's still something in there. Someone.
There isn't even a question of whether or not I'm keeping it. I've always wanted to be a mom. It's one of my biggest dreams.
So what if it doesn't quite look like I'd always pictured it?
As I stand there, on the sidewalk, staring down at my still-flat stomach, a sense of calm fills me. I can do this. I'm going to do this. And I'll be the best damn mom this baby could ever have.
There might be some details that I need to figure out, but at the end of the day, I know I'll have the support of my parents, my brother, and my best friend.
Will I be able to keep a secret from Pete and Dexter?
Should I?
Fucking hell.
I pull out my phone as I make my way up the steps to my floor, dialing Annie's number. She'll know what to do.
"Suzie!" Annie answers after the first ring. "I'm so glad you called, there's something I have to tell you, but Lo and Monte made me promise not to say anything until you phoned me!"
"Annie, babe. Not now. I need you to listen," I interrupt her babbling. "I have?—"
"No, you don't understand!" Annie cries out, sounding worried. "Are you at work or home?" she asks before mumbling to herself. "Why the fuck I promised anything this important, I don't know."
"I'm just getting home now," I bite out impatiently, annoyed at being interrupted. "Why?"
But she doesn't need to answer. I know why. Because as I step onto the landing I see them.
Pete and Dexter. Waiting in front of my door.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Suzie
Without saying goodbye to Annie, I cut the call and put my cell phone in my back pocket.
"Hey, Suzie," Pete says, straightening up as I approach. "We've been waiting for you."