Page 15 of Forbidden Desires

I'm reminded, once again, of my breakup with Pete. He'd overheard me talking to Ethan, telling him how I was going to turn down the internship in London.

He wassomad. Furious at me for being willing to give up a dream to stay with him. And no matter what I said, or did, he wouldn't listen. Told me he was done with me and my childish ways and wasn't interested in pursuing things with me further.

And here I am again. Faced with the reality of choosing my dream over the man that still holds my heart. Of choosing my career over the possibility of more with Pete and Dexter.

The knot tightens in my chest, a familiar companion to my thoughts. I let out a slow breath and close my eyes, willing myself to sink into sleep. I shove the pillow under my head and roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling. I shouldn't miss them. I shouldn't miss any of it—it was just one night, dammit!

One night, and the promise of so much more.

I left for a reason. I have to remember that. I wanted this.

I turn onto my side again, my brain still buzzing. I'll figure it out. One way or another. I'll find my footing, and if I fall, at least this time, no one will bear witness to my stumbles.

With that thought lingering in my mind, I finally start to drift off. The hum of the furnaces from earlier feels like a distant lullaby, lulling me into a restless sleep.

Tomorrow is another step. And maybe, just maybe, it'll be the first step toward something I don't have to run from.

CHAPTER NINE

Pete

The afternoon air feels heavier than usual as I walk into Lorcan and Montgomery's office. The two men sit across from me, their expressions unreadable, but edged with something I can't quite place. Concern? Pity? Whatever it is, it sets my nerves on edge, a tightness coiling in my chest as I settle into the chair.

"You wanted to see me?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even. There is no way they didn't see me with their daughter at the wedding ceremony. There's the small chance they missed us leaving together, I suppose, but I find it unlikely because Lorcan and Montgomery have made parenting into an art form.

At least with their new fiancée the mix, I know they won't object to the kind of relationship I have in mind for their daughter.

I hope.

Montgomery nods to my question, folding his hands on the desk. "We thought you should know," he begins, his tone careful, deliberate.

A cold sweat prickles at the back of my neck. My mind races, a thousand possibilities flashing through my head, each one worse than the last.

Lorcan clears his throat, leaning forward slightly as Monte seems to falter. "Considering what happened at the wedding, we thought you'd like to know. Suzie left."

The words hit me like a hammer. For a moment, I don't move, don't breathe, as the meaning sinks in.

"She left?" My voice comes out hoarse, barely above a whisper.

Montgomery nods again, his expression fierce. "We don't know what happened between you three or what made her run. But she's in Tacoma now. Started a job there."

"She ran from us?" The words are pulled from me, rough and painfully.

Lorcan scowls at Montgomery before turning back to me. "No, son. She didn't run from you. She had the job before the wedding. But—and this is what Monty meant—she left early. Choosing to get away from home and everyone that cared for her, and going into the unknown."

Tacoma. Fuck.

The air feels too thick, my chest tightens as I struggle to process what they're saying. I force myself to ask the questions clawing at the edge of my mind. "What kind of job? How... how is she?"

Lorcan glances at Montgomery again before answering. "She's got a residency at the Museum of Glass. She seems to be settling in, though I wouldn't necessarily say she's looking very happy."

Settling in.

The words land wrong, jagged and uneven. I want her to be okay, to find her footing, but the thought of her settling into a life that doesn't include us? That's unbearable.

"She's determined to do this, Pete," Montgomery adds quietly, and it feels like a punch to the gut. "Lorcan and I fought over how you dumped her before her internship in London. I thought you were being a coward, and he believed steadfastly that you were to be commended for looking after our girl's interests above your own."

I nod at his words, letting them run over me. I agreed with him. I was a coward. I should have fought for her. For us.