Page 11 of Forbidden Desires

CHAPTER SIX

Suzie

The soft glow of morning slips through the curtains, golden light stretching lazily over tangled sheets and the two sleeping men beside me. Their bare chests rise and fall in perfect sync, peaceful and unknowing. For a moment, I let myself enjoy the warmth between them. The steady comfort of Pete's arm draped across my waist. The weight of Dexter's hand resting lightly on my thigh.

But peace is a fleeting thing. And I know I can't stay.

I slip out of bed quietly, careful not to disturb them. My movements are slow but deliberate, filled with a sense of urgency I can't ignore. The room smells like sex, sweat, and memories I shouldn't cling to. My heart aches, heavy in my chest, but I swallow the lump in my throat. This isn't the time to mourn what never could be.

I find my pink dress crumpled on the floor and tug it over my head, the hem snagging my hair slightly. Dexter shifts in his sleep, making a soft sound, and for a moment, I freeze. What will I do if he wakes up and asks me to stay? Or even worse... doesn't ask? But his breathing evens out again, and I exhale in relief.

I can't look at Pete. If I do, all the promises his sleeping face will make without words will shatter me all over again. I just cannot go back there. Not to the pain. Not to him.

I grab my purse from the edge of the couch, stuff my heels inside, and make my escape barefoot.

Outside, on the sidewalk, the cool morning air bites at my skin. I take a breath so deep it almost burns, trying to center myself as the sun shines down on me, washing the quiet street in pink and orange hues. The harsh slap of reality hits me with each step I take. This wasn't some fairy-tale reunion or second chance romance from one of my favored novels. It was closure—a messy but beautiful goodbye that I can look back on with fond memories, instead of the heartache I was left with before.

Not that my heart isn't aching right now.

My phone buzzes. The screen lights up with Pete's name, and my heart stutters in my chest.

I can't answer. Not now. Not ever. I won't. If I do, I know he'll find a way to pull me back in, and then I'll have more than an ache in my heart. I won't have any of my damn heart left after he and his fucking boyfriend are done with it.

So I block his number instead, my hands trembling as I press the button.

There's no going back. Not this time.

I shove the phone into my purse and keep walking. When I finally find a cab to take me back to my childhood home, I let the tears run.

The bedroomI've called home almost my entire life feels foreign when I step inside, as if the night changed everything. Maybe it has. A part of me feels hollowed out, raw and exposedin a way I wasn't prepared for. But I can't dwell on it. I've got too much to do.

Thankfully neither of my dads were up yet when I slipped into our large front door, and I could sneak in without anyone noticing my red eyes, or the fact that I'm still in yesterday's dress. Hopefully, their own celebrations will have tired them out enough that they won't be surfacing any time soon.

I head straight for my closet and yank out the suitcase that's already half packed and waiting for me to make the final cuts. I don't need to leave for a few more days and was looking forward to spending the time with Monte, Lo and Annie. But now I just want to get out of town and away from temptation. Without thought, I throw the last of my essentials in and zip the case shut. This is it. No more second-guessing. No looking back.

There's a brand-new job and apartment waiting for me in another city. A chance to start over, to build something new. Something that's my own. Something no one can take away from me.

As I pack my sketches and portfolio into a smaller bag, I feel the familiar tug of hope. It's fragile, but it's there. This new job is the fresh start I've been craving. London wasn't enough. My internship, although life-altering and enriching, didn't help me get over my broken heart. Maybe my new life will finally do it.

A new life where I'm not weighed down by the past or haunted by what could have been.

But as I grab my bags and make the final arrangements to cancel my flight so I can drive there instead, the ache in my chest refuses to let go, no matter how hard I try to ignore it. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the two men to disappear from my mind.

This stupid painwillpass. Like all things do. The memory of Pete's hands, Dexter's kisses, the way I felt in their arms... it will be enough. Ithasto be enough.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll look back on it all without the sharp edge of regret slicing through me. Or maybe not.

But either way, I'll survive.

I take a deep breath and force myself to move, to keep going. I can't afford to stop now. There's too much at stake.

This is my life, and I'm reclaiming it.

By the time I'm all packed and ready, I can hear the faint stirrings coming from the kitchen and lounge. Perfect timing.

I make my way down the stairs with my bags and place them at the front door, before heading to the kitchen where I find both my dads and Annie. Monte is making breakfast, while Annie and Lo are enjoying what seems to be their first cup of coffee for the day.

"Morning," I say, my voice cracking with nerves. Three sets of eyes instantly turn to me, all three looking at me with wary expressions on their faces.

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