Page 9 of Cathmoir's Sons

“So, how is he?”

“Recovering, but still on bed rest. Dying took a lot out of him.”

Clawing him back from the Mother took a lot out of me. I didn’t feel it immediately, flushed with righteous fury, but I have in the days since. I’m not sleeping well without Whitey, but I can barely stay awake for more than six hours at a stretch without needing a nap. I’ve stayed at Jane’s townhouse not just because she needs my support, but because the mere idea of doing anything more strenuous than cooking, cleaning, and reading is exhausting. Once they reach puberty, mages don’t get human diseases, but I’ve heard humans talk about this modern plague, this coronavirus. I know how they feel.

Luca continues, “As soon as he’s allowed out of bed, he’ll come see you. He wanted to come tonight, but the healers were clear that he’s not recovered enough yet.”

I chew on my lower lip. “You’ve explained to him why I haven’t been to Cait House to check on him?”

“I have,” Luca confirms. “He understands. Doesn’t change how he feels, though. He’ll be banging down your door as soon as he’s off bed rest.”

I roll my eyes. These boys and their lack of boundaries.

“I’m glad he’s recovering but I don’t want to see him. I have nothing to say to him. Or you. Or your brother. You lied to me?—”

Luca shakes his head. “No, I didn’t. I never lied to you. Stop saying I did. Did I withhold information from you? Fuck yeah. Wanna talk about what you withheld from me? I figured out who you wereweeksago. I knew your name and what it meant. I found the names of the other Crow Queens. I knew about the Court of Cold Mist and what it would want from you. You praise me for my research skills. You tell me I have talent. Why,why, Kellan, didn’t you ever ask me to help you?”

A response catches in my throat. I swallow with an effort. “Because I have to walk this Path alone,” I whisper.

Luca’s arm tightens around me until we’re nose to nose and he’s more carrying me than leading me. “No, you don’t. I’m your fated mate, too. I’ve proved my loyalty to you. I’m thefirstperson you should have told. Instead, you confided in your fucking cat.”

“Don’t bad mouth Whitey,” I flare, then realize who I’m talking about. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with talking with my cat. It helps me think through things.”

“There is when your research assistant has to get everything second-hand from that cat,” Luca snaps. “Why would you keep something this important from me?”

“Luca, it’s not that simple. I can’t talk about it here?—”

“Yes, you can. Reach your hand out and you’ll feel my ward. No one can hear us. Say it, you didn’t trust me.”

I shake my head, because whatever he thinks, that’s not true.

“I didn’t trustme. I didn’t understand what I was becoming. I’m still not sure I do. But I know I put everyone around me in danger, Luca. I know you’re an adult. I know you’re smart and capable. Butno oneunderstands what I can do. Not even me. I know you think my rules about students are stupid, but youarea student and it’s my job to protect Bevington’s students, not put them in danger.”

A slow smile creeps across his face. “You’re terrible at your job.”

I slap the back of his head.

“Being dangerous isn’t going to keep us away, Kellan. Hells, it’s catnip to Law. You might as well wave a red cloak at him. I know you don’t understand what you’re becoming. Maybe I don’t, either, but if you’d told me about it, I’d have helped you figure it out. You don’t have to flounder around in the dark. I’m here for you.”

I don’t know what to say to that. He has shown me amazing loyalty. And his research skills are top-notch. Maybe I should have asked him to help me understand my past.

As I wonder whether I’ve been foolish to overlook him, we take a silent turn around the dance floor. With every step, I become more and more aware of him. I haven’t been this close to Luca before. I’m pressed against his body, feeling the shift of his muscles as he moves. My nose is full of his scent: fur and musk and blood like his brother’s but with a top note that’s as fresh as a breeze off a snowy hillside—that’s all Luca. Is it the seed Law’s planted in my mind about fated mates that makes my body slowly warm to him? Are they brainwashing my heart?

“Luca—”

“I know, just ignore it.”

I blink, then realize he’s talking about his erection, which has brushed me several times. He’s not grinding it against me the way Lawson would, but as soon as he mentioned it, it pops to the top of my awareness and won’t leave.

“I wasn’t, um, it’s fine. You’re not doing it on purpose. I know that. I wanted to ask, about the fated mates thing. You feel it, too?”

“Yeah.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I found you first. Did Law tell you that? We were at an open day for Bevington. There were tents set up on Bodeman Main lawn. You were standing in one with Jane Serpa. The other professors were wearing suits. You were wearing your boots and a tank top and a white linen shirt. Your hair was braided back. You started laughing at something Jane said, and the breeze brought the scent of your skin and hair to me.” Luca’s voice softens, becomes reverent. “Law had to pick me up off the ground when I fell over, intoxicated by your scent. It was every good thing I’d ever smelled. I’ve loved Rhodes for years, but his scent’s nothing compared to yours. I knew right away who you were.”

That strange tendril in my chest grows a little more. “I don’t know ... I’m not sure what I feel, Luca.”

“I know. Law told me. It’s okay if you don’t feel what we feel.”

“I met my sisters, Kathu and Brangwy. They’ve found their consorts. They seemed to feel ... whatever you’re feeling.”

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