Page 71 of Cathmoir's Sons

Lords waves away the suggestion with his free hand as he sips from the bottle.

“I could eat, human,” Law says.

I’m fairly sure there’s a pause between “eat” and “human” but I wouldn’t bet my life on it.

After giving Law an ugly side-eye, I move back to the refrigerator. Even though I’ve been splitting my time between the den and Cait House, the fridge is full to overflowing. I pass a fruit salad and a container of the muffins he likes so much to Luca when I see that he’s followed me. Knowing that the twins will want meat, I pull out a tray of breakfast links and get them on the grill. Luca returns for cups, plates, and utensils, then carries the pot of coffee I started when Lords arrived over to the table.

No one’s saying much when I bring the hot food to the table. Kellan’s huddled around her coffee; Law is huddled around Kellan. Lords is so pale he’s almost blue. Luca watches Lords warily as he eats a muffin.

“Let’s back up,” I suggest as I take my seat. “I’d like to apologize to Kellan, which I haven’t had a chance to do. Then maybe Kellan could explain the situation with the Oak King a little more?”

Lords nods, then rubs his forehead like the movement hurt him.

I look to Kellan, who gives me a wan, sad smile. I reach across the table and offer her my hand. She takes it, lacing her fingers, warm from the coffee cup, through mine. Everything narrows down to that touch, to connecting with her again. Lords, Luca, Law, they fall away as I focus on my girl.

“I missed you,” I tell her.

Her smile brightens several degrees. “I missed you, too. I have so much I’ve been dying to tell you.” Her eyes flick guiltily to Lords when she realizes what she’s said.

“I have a lot to tell you, too,” I assure her. “But the most important thing is that I’m sorry I hurt you. I shouldn’t have lied to you. When I first approached you, I was going out of my mind. I convinced myself you were going to take Luca away from me. That’s not an excuse ... there is no excuse. My reasons were shitty. I’m an asshole for not coming clean with you before our second date?—”

“Is that why you were so hot and cold?” Kellan asks softly.

“Yeah, I felt so fucking guilty. I’m used to keeping secrets. I think that’s more important to the Hale family than our actual blood relation, keeping secrets. But you were so understanding when I told you the worst about my family. And I’d fallen so damn hard for you. I wanted to tell you everything then. I was afraid of losing you, of setting you back. You were so fragile.”

Kellan nods, looking down into her coffee cup.

“Kellan.” I squeeze her fingers to get her looking at me again. “I should have built you up with the truth. I should have trusted that what we have is real. I keep acting like a scared little bitch and that’s not me. I’m not that insecure asshole. It’s not an excuse, but please know that it’s because you mean so much to me and I’m afraid of losing you, not because I don’t believe in you. In us.”

She takes a ragged breath. “Thank you. I know I haven’t been myself. I don’t have any excuse, either. I haven’t told you everything because I was scared the truth of what I was becoming would drive you away and I couldn’t risk losing you when you were my one anchor. I told Law I was afraid of loving him badly.” Tears as pale and luminous as her irises well along her black lashes. “Ihaveloved you badly. I’ve been selfish. I’ve taken more than I’ve given. I’m so sorry, Rhodes. You deserve better.”

“I deserveyou. Can we call it a mutual fuck-up and go for try number three?”

Her smile tips down. “I forgive you, but you have to understand that there can’t be anything between us while you’re a student.” She turns her head to look at Law, then Luca. “There can’t be anything between me and any of you while you’re students.”

Luca holds his hands up. “I’m not the problem here.”

Law hisses at his brother, then says to Kellan, “I have a solution to my part of it.”

“Which is?” Kellan asks.

“I’ll tell you on Monday when I’ve received confirmation.”

Kellan narrows her eyes at him. “Confirmation of what?”

“We’ll talk about it on Monday,” Law says firmly.

Kellan scowls at him before turning back to me. “Do you understand?”

“I understand. I won’t wait six months to be with you.”

Kellan’s shoulders sag and Law aims his hiss at me.

“But,” I continue, holding my hand up. “I also have a solution. I want to finish Winter Study. I want to find O’s killer. Then I’ll withdraw from Bevington. My offer from the White Cloaks isn’t conditional on me getting a degree; I’ve checked. If Bevington lets me graduate on the credits I have, great. If not, I’ll get the remaining credits from somewhere else. The White Cloaks will be happy to get me early. They actually proposed it when they made their offer last summer but I said I wanted to stay and finish my degree. They’re pretty desperate for bodies. So, it’ll really only be a month, and I can wait that long if you can.”

Kellan smiles, wide and warm. “I can wait as long as it takes.”

“Then that’s the plan,” I say, feeling a weight that’s been adrift in my chest for weeks finally settle and find its home.

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