Page 43 of Cathmoir's Sons

I chuckle. That absolutely fits with everything I’ve heard about the Chronomancy professor.

“She never told my parents,” Kellan says softly. “She could have busted me. She could have called Rachel’s mother. She could even have called Teddy’s uncle, who made trouble for a while until Teddy and the boys graduated. Carrie never said a word. Never reported it to anyone. Never put a note in our files. I don’t even know if she got her bail money back. She never said. The charges disappeared. She never asked for thanks. I gave her some Nipmuck pottery that I’d recovered and restored. She kept the pot she liked best and donated the rest to the museum. That was Carrie. She never did anything for show. She just quietly got things done.”

“You admired her,” I say.

“Almost as much as I admire Jane.”

“Jane told Law that she and Carrie thought of you as their daughter.”

Kellan sniffles. “She did? When?”

“I think it was the night he brought you to Cait House.”

“Did you—does Law tell you everything?”

“I don’t know. I doubt it. Law’s a cagey fucker.”

Kellan snorts. “He is. Luca ... the three of you ... why? Please tell me why? It hurts so much that they lied to me.”

I shift so I’m lying on my back and tuck Kellan against me. She settles her head on my shoulder. Her warm breath feathers across my bare skin. Goosebumps rise and my nipples tighten. This should be a moment when I draw her on top of me and continue the conversation joined as only lovers can be. But she doesn’t remember forgiving us. She’s still caught up in rules and regulations that are only a step away from human laws. I need to be patient. I need to wait for her to remember everything.

“Can I explain some things about Law? Without pissing you off?”

She gives a weak chuckle. “Everything about him pisses me off right now but you can try.”

“You know Evan Lords, right? He’s dating your friend, Rachel.”

“Yes, of course I know Evan.”

“He came to see Rhodes. Twice, actually. He offered Rhodes protection against the mage who attacked you at Jedburgh Abbey. He’s an interesting guy, Lords. A little broken, I think.”

Kellan nods, rubbing her cheek over my skin. “He was incarcerated for too long, cut off from his Element, without much hope of getting released. Something happens to mages who are cut off from their Element for years. Their souls die little by little. Not all of Evan that went into Karkarus came back out.”

“I hope being free helps him heal,” I say sincerely, because for all that I think he’s not the man the Capricorns need, heseems like a good guy. “He doesn’t have the right mindset if the Capricorns are going to take up the green mantle again, though. If he’s going to lead paladins, warriors, he has to lose the softness that’s brought him to see Rhodes. He said too many died at Jedburgh Abbey and he couldn’t lose anyone else. Generals can’t think like that. If anything, Lords should have considered using Rho as bait for Bromios’ remaining followers. I don’t think that ever crossed Lords’ mind. But you know who has considered it?”

Kellan hiccups softly. “Lawson.”

“Uh-huh. You know why?”

“Because he hates Rhodes.”

“Yeah, that’s probably part of it,” I admit. “But the bigger part is that Law’s been trained since birth to lead the Cait. We’re at war with the Mirk and have been for generations. I don’t know what the war will look like after Jedburgh Abbey, but even if it’s over, you don’t lose the mindset. Law’s been trained not just to be a king and lead his people but to be a general in a war. He knows how to make the hard decisions. He understands that in any war there are losses. He’s seen that firsthand. He’d never say that he couldn’t lose anyone else. He knows he doesn’t have the luxury of thinking that way. That was, until he met you. You’re the one person Law can’t lose.”

Kellan’s breath catches again. “Luca, that’s not true. You, Aine, your parents?—”

“Believe me. If we were all drowning and he could only save one of us, he would save you. He’s never felt that before. I know he hasn’t because we’ve talked about it, and I’ve felt the way his heart kindles around you. Our freshman year at Bevvy, a dozen Mirk Riders banded together and raised a small army of Mirk beasts. Nothing like Jedburgh Abbey but enough to overwhelm Cait House. They laid siege to Cait House for three days. My dad and Law killed eight Mirk Riders between them to breakthe siege. They were both wounded but they lived. Some of our cousins weren’t so lucky. Law brought me the news of their deaths. He didn’t cry; it’s been years since I’ve seen Law cry. He told me they’d fought well and helped save Cait House. I asked if he’d say the same thing about me if I’d died and he said yes. He wasn’t being an asshole, Kellan. Well, he wasn’t beingmoreof an asshole than usual. He meant it. He knows I’m expendable. I’m literally the spare. You’re not. We only get one fated mate. Law would doanythingto protect you. Don’t underestimate the lengths he’ll go to. I know you feel you don’t need his protection, but, forgive me for saying so, you’re wrong. While you’re going through this transition, you’re vulnerable. And while you’re icing out Law and Rho, we’re all vulnerable. I’m not trying to convince you to forgive them. I know you need to work through your feelings. I’m just asking you to see Law for what he is. Being a student at Bevington is theleastimportant thing about him. Does that make sense?”

Kellan turns her face into my shoulder. Her skin slides wet and sticky against mine. I stroke her hair and let her cry.

She falls asleep with tears still wet on her cheeks, mourning things she can’t change and is having trouble accepting. I slide carefully out from under her and tuck the quilt in. It’s a huge temptation to stay, to hold her all night, to see what develops. Am I ragingly jealous of Law reaping the rewards of her somnophilia? Just a little fucking bit. But she said she needed to trust me, and what she really meant by that was that she needs me to prove I won’t cross the line when she draws it. In Faery, with Caileán, we can be mates. In the mortal world, Kellan wants us to be teacher and student. Friends, but not lovers. Law won’t ever observe her rules and boundaries. He’ll always be what she needs instead of what she wants. But she’s asking for something different from me.

I can be that for her.

I slip into my fur and dive back into the shadows.

Chapter 13

I’m Your Creep

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