Page 158 of Cathmoir's Sons

She cups his face with her free hand. “No, my dearest love. Go catch us dinner. And stay away from my sheep.”

Law’s face split into a fanged grin. “Lamb chops are sweeter than pork chops.”

Caileán shakes her head at him. “Behave.”

“Cait,” he quips back at her before the hunting party depart with raucous caws.

I squeeze her hand and lead her down the corridor to the twins’ rooms. She’s quiet as we move around each other in thebathroom, filling the huge tub, shedding clothes. I sigh as I sink into my Element. Caileán settles between my legs and leans back against my chest. I rest my chin on the top of her head.

“What’s going on?” I ask her.

She hums, picks up a sponge, wets it, and runs it over my bent knee. “Can’t I just want to spend time with you?”

“You can. I’d love it if you did. But I’d also understand if you wanted to spend time with me for a specific reason.”

“I do just like spending time with you. You ground me. I feel the most real, the mostme, when I’m with you. I never want to lose that. I never want to loseyou.”

I scoop up a handful of water and trickle it over her shoulder. She shivers and laughs softly at the sensation.

“Is this where you ask me to sit out the battle with the Oak King?” I ask.

“Would you, if I asked?”

“I’d do anything for you, baby. I really wish you wouldn’t ask me, though.”

“You’re a healer, Rho. A justiciar. You have a strong vision, and I can see you changing our world with it. I hate dragging you into a situation where you have to kill or watch me kill. The fight with the Oak King is going to be ugly. Dirty. It’s going to be kin against kin. Fae power against fae power. Am I wrong for wanting to shield you from that?”

I kiss the top of her head. “I love you so much, do you know that?”

She nestles into me, swirling the scent of the dried cranberries and pomegranate shells we sprinkled into the water up to tickle my nose.

“I love you, Rho.”

“Don’t ask me to stay behind. Please, don’t. I am a healer. And I will be a justiciar. With you at my side, I’ll be a great justiciar. Maybe I’ll even change our world for the better. But Ican’t do that from the safety of Cait House. I have to be in the fray. I have to get dirty. I have to bear witness to the ugliness. The change we want to make in both the mortal world and Faery doesn’t come from an authentic place if I hide at home whenever things get tough. I love you for wanting to protect me, even when I feel like I’m the one who should be protecting you. Let me stand with you, Caileán.”

She nods and nestles. When I touch her cheek, I find it wet. I turn her face to me and kiss her tears away the way I’ve seen Law do.

“I’m afraid,” she admits in a whisper. “I’m so afraid of losing you again. Of losing Luca or Law. I don’t want to live without you.”

“We feel that way about you, baby. I promise you, we’re stronger together.”

“I wish I was like Teddy,” she confesses. “She’s the heart of their quaternion?—”

“Caileán, baby, you’re our heart. Blessed Mother, never think otherwise.”

“But I’m Unseelie. I’m dark.”

“Then we have a dark heart. I have no problem with that. The light can be too cold, too hard, too uncompromising. The darkness is where healing can happen. Where we can lay down our burdens safely. Where we can rest at last. Don’t you think the world needs darkness as well as light?”

Caileán lifts her hand; I twine my fingers through hers. “I don’t want to drag you down into my darkness, Rho.”

“If I feel you’re dragging me anywhere I don’t want to go, I have a working set of legs to pull in the other direction and a working set of lungs to tell you what I think. Just because I adore you and would do anything for you doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned my principles and reason. Caileán, you say you can see me changing the world, but I see you already doing it. And Idon’t see a tidal wave of darkness crashing over our world. I have never been more proud of you—more proud tobe yours—than when you showed me Mordeh’s daughter’s bones. You find more than treasure, baby. You find truth. You find justice. And yes, there is a cost. You’re strong enough to pay it. We are together.”

“I just don’t want the cost to be your life or Law’s or Luca’s.”

“I can’t promise you the cost won’t be high, Caileán. I wish I could. All I can promise is that I will be by your side every second if you’ll let me. And I know Law and Luca feel the same way.”

“Evan probably thinks I’m leading you astray.”

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