Page 60 of Daddy P.I. 3.0

“Baby, remember what we talked about? You can only control yourself. What’s important is that you’re showing up for your mum. You can’t control her reactions. The disease is dictating those now. But you can show up for her and keep showing up for her.”

Emmy nods sadly. “She won’t ever get better, will she?”

“The doctors don’t think so, sweetheart.”

“And she could live a long time.”

“She could. But she’s not in any pain. She’s comfortable. She’s safe.”

“Is it enough, Daddy? Is that the best I can do for her?”

“I think so. What do you think of this new home?”

“It’s good. It’s clean and her room is nice. She likes the greenhouse. It’s warm in there which is better for her. I was worried about her going out into the garden in the winter in Syracuse. She’s not good about coming inside when she gets chilled. I worried she’d get sick. They can’t check on her all the time.”

“Then it’s good she’s at this home where she won’t get cold. You’ve given her a nice environment where she can enjoy the same things but she’s safer. You’re doing all the right things, Emmy.”

“I just wish she knew Livvy,” Emily says, her voice so sad my chest aches. I slip my arm around her.

“I wish she knewyou. I wish she could see what a little wonder you are. How well you’re taking care of Livvy. How much you love our family. But I can see all those things, baby. Is it enough that Daddy sees them?”

She tips her face up to me and a smile peeks through the tears. “Yes, Daddy.”

I give her a gentle, oatmeal-flavored kiss.

“Daddy, can I ask what happened with Shannie tonight? You came out of your office with a huge frowny on.”

I tip my head forward so our foreheads touch and look into a single, hazel eye that blinks back at me.

“Shannie had a bad experience at the club with some of Master Drew’s guests. We’re going to have to review safety protocols with the members, and maybe put a new rule or two in place to ensure the house submissives are safe around guests.”

“Guests hurt Shannie? I thought guests weren’t allowed to scene with house submissives without a member?”

“They surrounded her and two Doms and scared her. They didn’t touch her but they made the scene environment so frightening that she didn’t want to continue the scene.”

“Did she use her safe word?” Emily asks.

I swallow hard. Emmy’s not being hurtful; she’s just asking the questions anyone will ask. But it’s a question I find hard to answer. And the answer hits differently when Shannie’s not sitting beside me, radiating fear and shame.

“No. She was scared that if she did, her Doms would lose control of the scene.”

Emily nods. “I’ve seen that once, where the crowd kind of turned against the Dom. It was a flogging at a dungeon party and the Dom kept going when a lot of people watching called for him to stop. I guess it’s not exactly the same thing but it felt ugly and angry and dangerous. I left right afterwards because the vibe got so weird.”

My shoulders drop an inch and the tension tightening my back recedes. Emily saying she’s felt something similar normalizes Shannie’s reactions. Not that Shannie’s feelings need validation. They’re real and valid on their own. I’ve just never felt anything like what Shannie and Emily experienced. I’ve always felt buoyed by the crowd watching my scenes. Hearing that Emily’s had a similar experience gives me another point of access into Shannie’s fear.

“She also said that Annabelle would talk to Mac. We need to get to the bottom of why she quit.”

Emmy rubs my shoulder. “You will, Daddy. And you’ll help fix it.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Thank you for your faith, baby doll. I felt terrible talking to Shannie. I let her down in such a big way. I’ve let all of the house subs down.”

Her little hand wraps around my biceps and gives me a squeeze. “You weren’t any good to them the way you were, Daddy. Burned out and grieving. Grief is a funny thing. It twists your head around. Makes you doubt everything about yourself. I know I felt that way after my divorce. It took me a long time to feel like myself again. I know it’s not your nature but sometimes you have to put yourself first for a little while before you can give other people what they need.”

“Thank you for understanding, Emmy. I know she wasn’t trying to be hurtful and she said she forgives me but Shannie emphasized that the reason she didn’t come to me in the first place was because I withdrew from the club. I just wonder if I’d stayed and limped along, given as much as I could?—”

Emily shakes her head, rolling her forehead against mine. “This isn’t something you can half-bottom, Daddy.”

A laugh breaks out of me. “Half-bottom, huh?”

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