Page 51 of Ulune's Daughter

“Kells, you want to show him a little love while I comb him?”

With an expression of relief, my mate presses forward. She rubs her hands down my sides and croons to me. “Lovey boy, don’t cry. This won’t take long and then I’ll give you all the cuddles.”

She will be making this torment up to me until the end of time! I hiss at her, which only causes the ball to mist over so I can’t even see her comforting face. I yowl in despair.

“Sweet boy, I’m here. Don’t cry like that. You’re killing me.”

Iwillkill her. She will never grovel enough to earn my forgiveness.

The fiend tugs and yanks until I’m sure she’s pulled out all my fur. Bald. If I survive this house of horrors, I’ll be bald. Naked and shivering through the Massachusetts winter. My mate better resign herself to carrying me around inside her sweater for the next six months. That’s the only way I’ll be appeased.

Just as I’m sure I don’t have a tuft of fur left, the fiend ups her game. With an evil hiss, she starts a sprayer and soaks me. What is this fresh Hell? Doesn’t this monster know that water is anathema to cats?

The fiend sprays and sprays until I’m drowned and shivering. Pathetic and beaten, I huddle in the corner of the sink, batting weakly at my mate when she tries to touch my sodden body.

“Mmm,” says the fiend, rubbing horribly at the base of my tail where I hate being touched. “Little bit of stud tail. I’ll give you some wipes. Start by wiping him down every other day. Every day if you see it getting oily like this. I bet this is the source of the smell.”

I’m reduced to glaring at the fiend. Broken, I can only hope my brother will avenge me.

She squeezes my legs, probably evaluating my muscle for feeding to her rat minions. Then she wraps me in cloth again. She carries me over to the big glass booth and sets me down inside. I back into a corner and huddle, glaring at the two women on the other side of the glass.

The fiend points a plastic nozzle at me and a tornado blasts all the skin off my shaking bones.

I meow steadily, begging for death to end this torment. My mate watches me anxiously through the glass, twisting her hands together. Finally, the tornado subsides.

But the torture is not over. The fiend picks me up and carries me to the long metal shelf. She makes me stand when I’m still shaking so badly my paws can’t hold me. More tugging on the three hairs I have left. Then more buzzing, all around my chin, along my stomach, and under my legs. Why? What have I done to incite this fiend’s wrath?

“Okay, now’s the good part, boy,” the fiend says.

Now she’ll kill me. Clean and shorn, I’m a fitting sacrifice for her cold, metal god. She pulls out a bottle, sacrificial oil, and hands it to my traitorous mate.

“Squeeze a little oil on your fingers and rub it into his toe pads,” the fiend tells my mate. “Cats love that. Just like getting a mani.”

The fiend pushes me onto my side. Destroyed in spirit, I lie with my legs outstretched, staring up at my mate piteously.

“Oh, boy, you look so sad. It’s all over. Let me rub your paws.”

I lift a trembling front paw.

She tenderly rubs something silky over my paw pads.

But it’s another betrayal. While she’s worshipping me, the fiend removes the plastic ball, but before I can execute my plans for her demise, she sticks something freezing in my ear.

I hiss weakly.

“Did you say he was a stray? He’s really clean. No matting. No fleas. Nothing in his ears and look at these wonderful ear tufts. I’d say he’s part Maine Coon.”

Of course, I’m not insect-ridden! Does the fiend think I’d bring vermin to my mate’s bed?

“I wondered because he’s so big, but I didn’t think Maine Coons had tortoise-shell coats like his.”

“Oh, sure,” the fiend says. “He’s really handsome and I don’t think he’s finished growing yet. Look at the size of his paws.”

The size of my paws will be the last thing she sees.

“Well,” the fiend says, “that’s pretty much it. You’re all done, boy. Not too bad for your first groom. See you in a month.”

She will see me tonight, when I return with my brother and send her back to Hell.

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