Page 141 of Ulune's Daughter

Luca shakes his head. “I have a date.”

My belly clenches and my jaw sets.

I shake off the feeling immediately. He’s young, gorgeous, particularly when it doesn’t look like his head’s on fire, and single. Lots of my friends met their significant others at Bevvy. He’s in his last year here as an undergraduate. He should date.

“Have a great time,” I say, and it almost sounds sincere. “See you in class tomorrow.”

He nods. His eyes linger on his brother and I sense there’s something he wants to say.

Then the moment passes. He turns away, pulls on his own coat, black of course, and leaves, warding the door behind him.

“Did I create tension?” I ask.

Lawson chuckles. “When is there not tension between us?”

“You have a lot of love for each other.”

I’ll admit I haven’t seen the two of them together very often. In fact, this might be only the second or third time I’ve seen them in the same room at the same time. But Lawson’s whole family is very close and the affection he has for his siblings is obvious.

“I’d do anything for him,” Lawson says. He reaches out and strokes a strand of hair away from my eyes. “And for you.”

I cuddle in for a tighter hug. “You’re everything I could have asked the Mother for.”

His brow beetles. “Caileán?”

“What? Why would you call me that?” I step back, my belly knotting again. “Benighted Mother. Have you ... have you met her?”

He takes my hands. “She is you. Remember, Kellan. Remember who you are. There’s nothing to fear.”

“Nothing to fear?” My voice shoots up an octave. “Nothing to fear? I nearlylost my mindto her. I have gaps in my memory that aren’t just hours, Law, they’re whole nights. I have no idea what she was doing with my body?—”

“She is you, Kellan,” he says insistently. “You are not separate entities.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I believe in you. Because I know you’re always true to yourself.”

That takes the wind out of my sails and eases the knot in my gut a little. “Is she ... what am I like?”

“Fierce and wise and curious, just as you are now.”

My chest hitches with something that’s not a laugh. “Do you have any idea how I feel when I find out I’ve lost hours and hours? I feel like a crazy person. I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not crazy and you’re not an idiot. You’re not any small, foolish thing. You’re wondrous, Kellan.” He pulls me closer and rubs cheeks with me. “You’re becoming more wondrous. I wish I could take away your fear of what you’re becoming. I can only tell you that I have spent many hours with you when you remember everything and none of it is fearsome.”

That pulls a small smile out of me. “Fierce and wise and curious?”

He nips at my chin. “And playful and brilliant and adoring. You’ve said that to me several times, that I’m everything you could have asked the Mother for. That’s why I thought this might be a moment when you remember everything. I’m sorry I was wrong and upset you.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I should have realized that you’d have spent time with her. Um, with me when I’m her?—”

“With you when you remember everything you are.” He corrects gently. “Stop thinking of Caileán as a separate creature. It took me some time to understand that you are always yourself. You simply remember more sometimes.”

“What kind of things do I remember when I’m her ... when I remember everything?”

He nods approvingly. “You remember a life you led long ago. You remember your sisters. You remember that you provided sanctuary for wild fae and protected them against the high fae?—”

“I remember the Oak King killed me for it.”

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