Page 35 of Soulless Rivalry

Her blond head of hair snapped towards me. “How I feel, silly.”

Eyebrows scrunched together in incomprehension, I chose my next words as carefully as I could. “Why?”

“Because, Lyssa. He might feel the same as I do but be too shy to admit it.”

The last word I would use to describe Dominik, or any Korolov except maybe Katarina, was shy.

I think what she meant to say was uninterested or, if we wanted to be harsh, painfully lacking fucks to give about her. I had never had the heart to tell her that, from an outside eye, all the little glances and tension that she imagined between them were just that,imaginary.

At first, I thought maybe I didn’t see it. Maybe seeing how my parents' love for one another ultimately destroyed my mother made me cynical and unable to recognize it. Maybe the fact that I had never been attracted to anyone before meant I didn’t know what it looked like.

But then Briar confided in me that she was worried about Mia because her little obsession would ultimately break her when she realized Dom didn’t care for her as much as she thought, and I just knew I wasn’t imagining things.

Clearing my throat, I cursed my past self for not nipping this in the bud when it was just a little infatuation.

“Mia, are you sure it’s a good idea? You don’t even know the guy, you never talked to him. How can you love him?” My voice was soft even though the things I was insinuating were not. I didn’t want to make her angry or worse, sad.

Yet her eyes shut down the second the words came out of my mouth.

“How would you know?” I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to tell her that I had witnessed what true love looked like, contrary to her.

It was no secret that her parents had a loveless marriage. Her dad had actually been promised my mom’s hand in marriage, but when she disappeared, he married Aunt Matilda instead. He never got over it, not because he was in love with my mother, but because his ego was bruised. He was humiliated that the mafia princess he was promised chose to flee and live in poverty rather than marry him. I believed that was also a reason why he hated me: I looked like a perfect replica of my mom but with my dad’s coloring. Undeniable proof that she chose to marry a poor taxi driver over him.

“Mia, please don’t be angry. I’m just saying, try starting a conversation before diving in right away with the love declarations.”

She huffed and shook her head. “We’ve been eying each other for the past two years, Elyssa.”You were the only one doing the eying.“I know he’s it for me.”Then why have you had so many boyfriends over the years; shouldn’t you only have had eyes for him?“I got his number from another TA in art history class. I’ll send him a text tonight and we’ll see what comes of it.”

This was a bad idea but as soon as I opened my mouth to tell her that, she shut down again. “Listen, I’m not trying to be mean, Lyssa, but you’re too frigid to know what love and attraction are like.” Fuck, good thing she wasn’t trying to be mean.

My heart stung at her words but I kept quiet, knowing if I were to speak I would pass as the bad guy.

“I’m not saying Dominik loves me yet, but I can tell when a man wants me, and he definitely does. With time, I know he could grow to love me.”

I stayed silent, simply watching her. I had spent years trying to subtly tell her not to get her hopes up without breaking herfragile heart. I was done doing that; maybe the only way she would learn was by getting burned once and for all.

Still quiet, I nodded once, acknowledging her words, before turning back to my textbook. If she wanted to keep ogling him for the rest of the day, she could, but I was here to work.

After some time, I heard her sigh and put her hand on my shoulder softly. “I’m sorry for saying you’re frigid. You’re not the best at showing emotion, but you’re not frigid.” I hated that word. “And I know you’re only telling me this because you’re scared of me getting my feelings hurt, but I guarantee it won’t happen.”

I wanted to scream that yes, it would. That she would end up heartbroken and sad, at risk of relapsing into drugs, but I didn’t. Again, I stayed silent, plastering a small smile on my face and nodding agreeably, putting my hand on hers and squeezing.

There was no way I could help someone who didn’t want to help themselves.

“Please tellme you got us a little something sweet,” Sinem all but begged as she sat down in front of me, next to Briar.

I smirked because Sinem had the worst sweet tooth I had ever known, even worse than Lorenzo.

Her shoulders slouched as she recounted the bad day she was having, “Classes are kicking my ass, my brother Gabriel is acting crazy and I ripped my favorite tights this morning. I need some chocolate therapy.”

I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of me and, rolling my eyes, reached discreetly into my bag to get the small recipient where I’d put the brownies I made last night. My eyes immediately went to the table closest to the entrance, whereKonstantin and his friends always sat, and I breathed a little easier when I saw it was empty.

Over a week after he had me cleaning the Church, Konstantin was back to ignoring me. I should’ve felt good about that, but weirdly, I didn’t. His constant mood swings gave me whiplash and I just didn’t know which way to go.

I wanted to go back to the secret room but, one, I just couldn’t seem to find the right stone to push to open the door, and two, even though I had a flashlight with me, the thought of going in there alone freaked me out. What if I couldn’t open the door back up? What if somebody else knew about it and came in?

Too many questions that literally kept me up at night. So last night, I caved. I went to the kitchens and baked a sweet treat that I knew would make me and my friends feel better.

There was something else, an ulterior motive that pushed me to go but that I would never admit out loud.

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