Page 19 of Maddog

“What? You weren’t there until I got sick from the chemo.” She sounded equal parts pissed, hurt, and resigned.

“Oh, no, honey. I sat outside your door every waking moment. The only time I left was when Wrath and Fury made me sleep. The women even made me a plate of food every time they brought you something. Then Wrath told them to stop. He told Lyric the only way to get me to leave was to not feed me. Then I’d either man up and come inside and sit with you, or go get my own food. At which time he’d simply lock me out.”

“That sounds like my dad.”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d have sat outside your window. You kept it open in the evening, and I could sit and listen. I’d be there if you cried out in the night.”

“So that’s how you got into my room.”

I grinned. “Yeah. I know it’s kind of creepy, but I didn’t look at it that way. I was protecting you. Even if it was from nightmares. Or pain.”

“It’s not creepy.” She cupped the side of my face. “I think it’s wonderful. Thank you so much for always being in my life when I needed you, Jax.”

“Hardest thing I ever did was leave for the service. In the back of my mind, I was always on edge. If you needed me and I wasn’t there, I’d never have forgiven myself. The only reason I did it was because I wanted to work for ExFil. It provided a stable income for me and made El Diablo happy. I had to do my time like everyone else.”

She sucked in a breath. “So, me leaving on this trip was a special kind of hell for you.”

“Not really. I mean, yeah. I was upset you left before I could get to you, to go with you, and impatient to shake those losers and find you, but I knew I was coming after you and I was on my way.”

“I should have known you’d come after me. I mean, I did, I just wasn’t sure how I was going to let you know where I was. When my phone started blowing up with calls every little bit, I knew they were giving me time to answer before they activated the satellite GPS in my watch. After that, I knew whoever they sent, you’d be with them.”

“That’s my girl.” I pulled her closer. “Now. Any objections to me kissing you? Because I really need another taste of you.”

The smile she gave me was so fucking beautiful, if I’d been standing I’d have fallen to my knees and wept. “I’d like that very much. I need you, too.”

Chapter Ten

Holly

I tried to kiss a boy a couple of times. Hated every single thing about it. Tried to have sex once, too. Nope. I’d barely gotten the guy alone with me before I backed out. Nothing felt right. I didn’t like the feel of his touch on my skin or the way his lips were wet. Kissing felt… slimy. Icky. I hated it.

Then Jax went and kissed me on the plane. His kiss had been nothing like I’d experienced before, and everything I’d always longed for. This kiss was even better.

His lips were firm yet tender, his touch gentle yet commanding. The mere press of his mouth against mine elicited a fire within me, as though he was the key to igniting my very soul. I wanted to believe love and romance like my mom and dad had wasn’t a fluke. Hadn’t I seen it in the other members of Black Reign and their women? Kissing Jax felt as though all the love songs and cheesy romance novels suddenly made sense.

He was patient and understanding, letting me explore the contours of his lips with mine at my own pace. His hands roamed my back in soothing circles, as though reassuring me and encouraging me to keep going. His body was molded against mine in a comforting embrace which felt like home. Of course, Mom and Dad had given me a loving place to live and protected me as much as possible, but Jax was different. He was mine. And I was his.

Jax pulled away slightly, creating a distance that allowed me to catch my breath. My eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze. His hazel eyes were molten with affection, reflecting an intensity that made my heart skip a beat. His thumb grazed gently across my lower lip, coaxing me to open. When I did, he slipped the tip of his thumb into my mouth. I closed my lips around the digit, sucking gently.

Jax looked me straight in the eyes, searching mine the same as I searched his gaze for some kind of clue to what he was thinking. “Just so you know, this only goes as far as you want. There’s no expectation on my part. Tonight is all about you. What you want. What you need. I’m going to give you everything. And you’re going to tell me what you desire most for us right now.” He removed his thumb, and I wanted to chase it down and suck some more. I have no idea why that simple act was so erotic, but there it was.

“I want you, Jax. I want to make love with you.” The words were out before I could censor them or maybe phrase it differently. I was certain no self-respecting biker would ever “make love.” But it was what I wanted. This time. I needed him to guide me, and I needed to be able to understand what was happening.

I wasn’t sure if I expected him to scoff at me or be amused. I could be naive enough to think he would even want to make love to me. What I got was a slow, wicked smile. “Oh yeah, baby. I can definitely do that. I’m going to take my time and prove to you I’m the only man you’ll ever need.”

“Yes. That’s what I want.”

Jax slid his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my head as he lowered his lips to mine again. This time the kiss started off slow and careful, like he was feeling me out or maybe giving me time to adjust to the sensations. I slid my hands up his chest and around his neck.

With his fingers tangled in my hair, Jax angled my head where he wanted me while his other arm tightened around me, holding me close. Goose bumps erupted over my skin and I shivered. I’d always loved being in Jax’s arms. This was altogether different, though. This time, I was really his. His woman. I found his strength exciting, and even a little daunting. I knew he hadn’t been a saint -- he was twelve years older than me -- so there was no doubt he was the experienced one in this relationship. While I wanted to claw out the eyes of every single woman he’d been with, I couldn’t fault him for it when I’d been too young for him to even consider being with. At the same time, I wanted to thumb my nose at the lot of them. They might have had him in the middle of his life, but I’d had him first and now I had him last.

Slowly, as if sensing my comfort with his touch, Jax intensified the kiss. His teeth grazed my lips enough to make me gasp. His tongue swept inside my mouth to dance with mine. Small sighs filled the air as I settled into his embrace and simply let Jax have me. I’d trust him to guide me, and I’d be everything he needed.

I shifted so that I could wrap my legs around him. As turned on as I’d gotten just from his kiss, my clit felt like it was being licked by fire every time I rubbed over his jeans. I might never have had sex, but I knew how to pleasure myself and often did. What I was feeling now had nothing to do with physical stimulation and everything to do with the man doing the stimulating.

He stood and planted a knee on the mattress, laying us both down so that he pinned me. I loved his weight on top of me, his body resting between my legs. I tilted my hips, trying to get some more friction on my clit and Jax grinned down at me.

“Is my girl greedy?”