“What?” Nick asked again. Jacob turned his cell around so Nick could see it. It was from the Queens and short and to the point.
Teknolab is owned by Colonel Ilya Topolev, of the FSB.
Jacob felt his anxiety notch up a thousand degrees, which was insane. He was never anxious. Ever. He was a binary man. Either something was or wasn’t.
Either it would work or not.
Whatever the outcome, he would live with it, because he was a realist.
But now, with Alex in a hotel suite on a mission with a fucking FSB officer in the mix, not to mention a deadly disease, he could feel waves of anxiety swirling around him.
He could keep himself safe. He’d spent the past eighteen years doing just that under harrowing conditions.
Could he keep Alex safe? He had moves, knew how to keep himself alive in even desperate situations. Alex didn’t have those instincts. To keep her safe, he should be by her side, 24/7, and he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He and Nick and his men had to get to the bottom of this and he couldn’t have Alex around. The need to operate without having Alex around warred with his need to make sure she was safe.
Jacob wasn’t used to warring with himself. It was dangerous.
“Stop that.” Nick’s voice was hard. “Just fucking stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop worrying. I can see into your fucking head, the waves of anxiety are that thick. What’s the matter with you? You know better than this. Alex is fine. You know my men, they’re your men, too. They’re not going to let anything happen to her, youknowthat.”
Jacob breathed out through his nose, like a bull. “This is hell, worrying about someone else. Not used to it. I don’t worry about you.”
“I don’t worry about you, either. We’re both tough sons of bitches to kill.”
“But Alex isn’t.” Jacob shut his eyes. “She’d be real easy to kill.”
Nick’s voice was hard. “Then why the fuck did you bring her if you’re going to worry like this? She should be back home. In Atlanta or San Diego, or wherever. Not here on the front lines.”
“That’s what I told her!” Jacob smacked the dashboard. “It’s madness, her being here.”
“What?” Nick’s head slowly swung around. “You didn’t want her here and she’s here anyway? What the fuck?”
Jacob was immediately sorry he’d said those words, because it was like having his beating heart nailed to the wall for everyone to see.
He sighed. “She insisted on coming. Said she could be useful.”
Nick just stared.
Jacob shrugged. “I wasn’t willing to tie her up. What else could I do?”
“Apparently, nothing. I never thought I’d say these words, but… you love her.”
Jacob hung his head. A deep strangled noise escaped from his throat.
This was so terrifying. He realized now he’d loved Alex what felt like all his life, but he’d never actually said the words to himself. Never fully acknowledged it.
Now it permeated his existence. He wasn’t the free agent he’d been up until now. Now there was Alex to factor in. To think of, to care for, to protect. Her wishes had to be taken into account. His life wasn’t entirely his own anymore.
It was unsettling.
“Stop it,” Nick said again, this time punching him in the arm. Hard. Nick knew how to punch and it got Jacob’s attention. “Get your head back in the game and let’s go see what this is all about. You’re no good to anyone, let alone Alex, in this condition.”
Jacob nodded and they exited the vehicle.
Teknolab looked abandoned, empty. They approached carefully, helped by the miserable weather. Gray, sleety, foggy. They donned stealth coveralls and wore balaclavas, all of which reduced their IR footprint to nearly zero. Any infrared cameras would register a slight temperature anomaly but certainly not enough to identify a human intruder.