Page 62 of Rumor Has It

“Hi, pretty girl,” Cassidy coos.

I’ve imagined her talking to Aria like this. Soft and comforting. It’s the same natural way she acts around her sister’s kids.

Aria reaches out, wrapping her slimy, tiny fingers around Cassidy’s. Right then, I know that I’ve made the best choice.

“Cass, what I’m about to say—”

“Is private.”

“—I would’ve said whether or not you signed.” She’s the woman I want in my life.

“Why?”

“Because you are important to me.”

She blushes, studying the intricate pattern of the Oriental carpet.

“Aria was delivered by c-section after Kylie’s accident. She was born twelve weeks early. The doctors said Kylie suffered a placental abruption, and that’s how she lost control of the car. Her injuries were significant and machines were keeping her alive. The doctors didn’t know how long that could last. I kept hoping for a miracle that she’d make it back to us. As her next of kin, I had to make the choice I thought Kylie would want.” I still don’t know if I chose right.

“There was no mention of the baby.” Cassidy’s lip quivers and she tries to give me her condolences, but I hold up a palm.

“We,ah,—I thought it was for the best.” I smash my lids together, holding back emotion. “Aria was premature. She’d been in an automobile accident, and her prognosis was touch and go.”

“That was last summer. How did no one find out?”

I tap her NDA. “That. And an agreement with the hospital to withhold Kylie’s name on Aria’s birth certificate. There were,are, a lot of legalities involved, making sure that eventually Aria inherits Kylie’s estate and granting me guardianship without tipping off the press.” I stayed away from the hospital the first month when the baby was in the NICU. Then, once the neonatology team set up a private space and it was safer, I occasionally visited in the middle of the night. “Eventually Aria was released and I hired a nurse to take care of her.”

“Not you?”

I shake my head. “I couldn’t get out of my head. I spent a lot of time right after the accident wondering where I went wrong and, since my wife was already dead, I was useless to fix it. Then I was so damn depressed it didn’t matter. Aria didn’t seem to like me, anyway.”

“She’s a baby.”

“I know. But you can’t talk rationally with irrational emotions, Cass. I was grieving. Initially, I stayed out of the public eye because I wanted to do right by Kylie. After a few months, the solitude got the best of me and I became reclusive. People, even Monty, tried to tell me Kylie’s accident was a tragedy, but life isn’t fair either. I went to grief counseling, but more than anything, I wanted out of the entire situation, and there was no escaping it.

“The pressure my PR team put on me about the upcoming tour made everything worse. The label, my management company, Vespa—who helped hide the truth—badgered me nonstop about concert promotion. My record label wouldn’t let me back out. I had to agree to do interviews. Choosing to start with Gatlin was the safest bet. We’d struck up a friendship that could’ve been beneficial to one another if I hadn’t pushed the entire world away. But then, my anxiety took over and my therapist proposed bumping the date up so it was taped instead of live as a way for me to feel like I had control of another situation I felt trapped by.

“During the taping at the studio, Gatlin mentioned Jake Ballentine was in town and there was a possibility of getting on Cris’s schedule. I’ve wanted to write with them my entire career and I wanted to take charge of my life again. That’s why I stayed and that’s how we met.”

Though I never gave Aria a bottle, I’d grown accustomed to waking early to her cries. The first person I encountered the first morning I was at Kingsbrier turned out to be a quick-witted bombshell. The more time I spent at the ranch, the more I leaned into the feeling of freedom and control.

“Everything about you and being here at Kingsbrier was a relief.”

“It was your escape,” she remarks.

It certainly seemed that way.

“Vespa and the nanny assured me Aria was being well taken care of. She had everything she needed, and she didn’t need me. I could get back to my life and try to focus on the tour. I planned to be gone for months anyhow. Despite my hesitancy to do the interview, I love touring. So what difference did spending these two weeks with you make? But I think I knew I was wrong right away.” Watching the Cavanaughs effortlessly nurture their family ties made the holidays at the ranch appealing.

“You left your daughter behind at Christmastime.” It hits Cassidy like lightning. I missed Aria’s first Christmas.

Her opinion of me changes on a dime and she shrinks in her seat, adding space between us.

The negative emotion she feels isn’t unwarranted. I’m wholly unimpressed with the man she believed I was, too. Not because I didn’t need to be selfish—I did. Monty was right. It was important to cultivate a relationship for me before bringing Aria into the mix.

However, as soon as I saw where things were leading with Cassidy, and I understood what I was denying Aria, I should have manned up.

I want Cassidy’s faith in me restored. I hoped complete honesty would give us a chance to build on the relationship we were exploring. The faint future I envision with her is something my subconscious contemplated during my marriage: that once Kylie and I finished focusing on our careers, we’d turn perception into reality and truly become the perfect couple, raising kids of our own.

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