Page 58 of Rumor Has It

While Isaiah’s departure means I’m back to square one searching for that perfect person, Rhiannon doesn’t do relationships. Her idea of dating is finding a no-strings-attached man whose company she can enjoy in the moment. She prefers the hunt and will gladly shoot both her middle fingers to any person who dares to call her a slut. Maybe if she were ten years older her reasons for not trying again would be acceptable to people.

But right now, Rhiannon’s absolute unwillingness to nurse a broken heart back to life makes a heck of a lot of sense to me. I wish I had the walls she’s built around hers.

Wearing my slinky dress like a nightgown, I pull the covers to my chin. I took off my purchased-for-the-occasion sexy thong and the silk stockings. There’s a telltale thin stripe down the wall from pitching my heels, leading to the spot on the carpet where one rests.

My nose is stuffy, my eyes are puffy, and the skin on my face is uncomfortably tight. Tears washed my makeup off, smudging it on the pillowcase. Another tear escapes my lid. The crying I’ve done isn’t helping the pounding headache I have… And now I’m scolding myself for the stupidity of chugging that much champagne on an empty stomach.

The entire situation is my own damn fault. I knew better than to get attached. Still, my crushed heart wonders if I meant anything to Isaiah.

“I can’t believe he up and left like that.” Rhiannon snaps her fingers and they hardly connect. Her actions are drunk and lazy. Each time she’s repeated herself, it comes out more slurred. Although she still sounds as bewildered by Isaiah’s impromptu disappearing act as she was when I’d broken down on the phone. “I don’t get it, Cass. Isaiah seemed sincere when he said what was happening between the two of you was worth exploring. I’m so sorry. If I had any idea this was how it would end…” her sleepy voice trails. Rolling into the fetal position, she grabs my arm and snuggles her forehead to it.

The buzz from the alcohol makes it impossible to hold back my reactions. My lips twist and tears gather in my eyes. “He asked me to go with him.” I finally have the nerve to admit.

Rhiannon’s head tilts up. “Why didn’t you?”

“It was while he was packing. He hesitated before he asked and it sounded… quiet?”Somber.I wish the bubbly was as effective at making me feel less heartsick as the job it is doing making me sound stupid. “Almost as if he didn’t really mean it. And I couldn’t help wondering if bringing me along was something he really wanted. If it was, wouldn’t he have acted excited when he realized the possibility?”

“What if he was putting himself out on a limb and you saying yes would’ve changed that?”

“For how long, though, Rhi? I don’t need to leave to know this is where I belong. Kingsbrier is my home. Our parents felt the pull to come back. You’re here. Everyone else I love is here. Why fight it? I’ve pondered living my entire life at Kingsbrier so many times. I understand it is inevitable. There’s no negative connotation to that. I’m not resentful. I have a good life. A good job. Why prolong my suffering when Isaiah’s life is out there and mine is right here?” My voice echoes off the walls.

“Are ya done? You’re getting mighty riled up.”

“I can’t see how you can’t see it. What if Isaiah abandoned me on a tour stop when I’d served his purpose?”

“Like Rudy?” Rhiannon sits up.

I nod. My nose wrinkles because my cousin is pinching my snot rags between her fingers and tossing them over the bed onto the floor. Gross. I should help with that, but I can’t move or my head will fall off my shoulders.

“That’s a valid fear. So what did Isaiah do after you told him no?”

“He rolled the rest of his clothes into a ball, stuffed them in his suitcase, kissed my cheek, and walked out.”

“That’s rough, sugar. Not even a real last kiss to remember him by.”

“Why didn’t I see it coming?” I whisper, closing my itchy eyes.

I’d hoped I’d been truthful with myself that Isaiah leaving would be hard. But it’s harder than I thought. I grew accustomed to his presence. Even with Rhiannon here, not having him around makes the mansion feel empty and cold. The Christmas decor is still up, but there’s a sterility to my surroundings. I’m back to living in a room at an inn, not necessarily a house filled with love.

While Isaiah was at Kingsbrier, there was a companionable silence to whatever activities we did on our own.

I breathe in through my stuffy nose. There’s a trace of Isaiah’s aftershave on this pillow. This is the spot he liked to sit and write in his songbook. My addled brain decides it’s not the smell of my Isaiah. It’s Isaiah Roomer’s scent. If I were sober, I’d be half-tempted to switch sides of the bed with my cousin.

I’ve never felt more insignificant, and I’m the girl who got fired from the job she could do with one hand tied behind her back when her family hired someone with “more experience”.

A tear puddles at the crook of my nose. My limbs are too heavy to move, so I tilt my head, wincing at the stabbing pain in my temple, and let it tumble.

Rhiannon yawns. She stretches and then hugs me from the side. The comfort is so Gran-like for a moment, a sense of peace fills me. I’m grateful to fall asleep before I remember we’re no longer little girls and Gran’s not with us anymore.

?????

The tentative knock at the door thunders in my pounding skull.

“Cass? Cassidy, are you home? I need to talk to Isaiah.” Gracyn’s voice carries from the hallway.

I sit up too fast and grab my forehead as pain stabs through my frontal lobe.

“Go away,” Rhiannon groans as I rasp, “We’re here.”

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