Page 44 of Rumor Has It

Mentioning to Cassidy that Kylie’s rift from her parents was because they wanted to control her isn’t news to anyone. Even when we were teenagers, Kylie did what she wanted, consequences be damned. I understood she was a product of the environment before our friendship drunkenly changed into friends with benefits.

Having had a stage parent of my own, I was sympathetic to adults trying to live out their fantasies through me. It’s one of the reasons I’m not close with my mother anymore and let her fawn over my stepbrother.

Except, I was never the direct target of Kylie’s worst behavior. So, even when we didn’t see eye to eye about the direction our marriage was taking, I hadn’t felt gaslit by her until the very end.

Vespa’s agitation is clear over speakerphone. I’m aware she’s still likely conspiring to get me on the next plane out of Texas. It makes me more determined to stay.

“I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

We both know her apology is bullshit.

“I’m glad we’re all on the same page. I’ll forgo seeing Dr. Cavanaugh and take the appointment with the other doctor.”

“His answering service said he can’t see you until tomorrow.”

“Fine. Set it up. And email me the tracking info on the parcel I’m expecting. Then maybe take the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth off to spend with your loved ones. I’ll be in touch if I need anything.”

I won’t. Be in touch or need anything that is.

Like I mentioned to Gracyn, experiencing a normal daily holiday alongside her sister is at the top of my wishlist.

What I don’t say to any of these four women? Seeing that crib in the attic was a slap in the face. In less than a second, I endured a piteous reminder that my wife hadn’t seen kids in our future.

It made me angry Kylie left me responsible for her image without thinking twice about the effect it would have on my own. The anger after her death led to indignation over making Kylie’s priorities mine. In my worst moments, I thought I was capable of killing her all over again. Because my conscience won’t allow me closure.

And when the next second ticked forward, all I wanted was something as pure as how it feels to lose myself in Cassidy.

I want her mind, body, and soul, and I want the humdrum details of her past and to experience the exquisite, joyful moments in her future.

Spending time with Cassidy is a brief glimpse of happiness. I selfishly want her to want me. My battered and bruised ego needs a chance with a woman who is smart and sweet. Someone who’s confident, yet humble.

Perhaps the problem I had was the contrast between me and the Sanchezes and Ballentines. They make the difference in their marriages work. Kylie and I couldn’t. Why can’t I have a taste of normal in order to decide if it’s for me? Because seemingly having everything in common with my wife certainly did me no favors.

I hang up with Vespa. Rhiannon is ready to go. I offer to bring the vacuum downstairs and show her out.

Cassidy’s and her older sister’s voices carry down the hall as they exchange final harsh words. For the first time since I arrived, I feel like an outsider and they deserve privacy to settle matters.

“Don’t hold anything against Gracyn.” Rhiannon says after letting me know where the vacuum belongs. We’re trudging down the half circle staircase. “She was a lot more fun before she had kids.”

“I’ve heard parenting does that to a person. Makes them take life seriously.” At least, one would hope.

“Wilder and Emeran, my niece and nephew, are Irish Twins and almost teenagers. If history is any indication, Gracyn’s gotta lot to be fearful of. Although if you ask me, Cass has every right to be peeved. Nobody wants to be scolded by a sibling for something that’s none of their business.”

We land in the foyer and continue conversing.

“I suppose I can see Gracyn’s point that Cassidy’s and my relationship is borderline unprofessional, Rhiannon. We just sort of… Fell into it?” Excuse the term. “Wrong or not, plenty of celebs I know have booked reservations at a ritzy hotel and coerced the maid into dropping her drawers. What’s happening between me and Cassidy isn’t like that at all.”

She grins, her dark brow raising.

“What?”

“So you and Cass have are-la-tion-ship?”

“We have a… A something worth exploring.” I hedge, even though I used that exact word.

Rhiannon’s NDA keeps her mum about what she witnesses while taking photographs, so I’m not freaking out over her being loose lipped. I’ll need someone on my side eventually and she is as good as anyone to spill my intentions to. If I can’t trust Cassidy’s best friend, then who am I relying on?

“Welp, if anyone needs to go exploring, it’s Cass. ”

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