Page 112 of Rumor Has It

I hold my arms out to her, and she comes to me freely. I kiss her blonde mop top and inhale her heavenly scent of baby shampoo, hugging her so tightly I’m afraid I might pop her. She’s been gone a few hours and I already miss her like I’m never going to see her again.

During the months I posed as her mother, it was other people who told Aria to call me mama or mommy. I was careful not to cross that line. I wonder if I believed Isaiah when he said he was looking for her biological father and that I knew from the start Aria was another thing I’d lose.

Tired, the baby clings to me. Monty rubs her back.

“How’d it go?” I ask.

“She did great.” I think Monty would tell me that even if the baby wailed the entire time.

Like we had when Chesney’s nanny babysat, Monty’s the go-between. He brings Aria to Dillon, waits outside of a conference room, and then brings her back for her nap. The process repeats itself at dinnertime, though Aria’s not gone as long.

I like that it stops the awkward transfer from one parent to the other. Not that I’m her parent, I just play one on TV.

I also have to remind myself Dillon’s not a stranger to Aria. She didn’t mind it when he held her while I was juggling too many things at once. He helped wipe her face… Which is what got us into this predicament.

When Isaiah is at his lowest, I blame myself. Why didn’t I see Dillon stuff that napkin in his pocket? What made me trust him so blindly? How did I not recognize the resemblance to one another? Because now when I trace Aria’s features, I see that the baby and Dillon share the same mouth and nose, the same way I see Kylie’s eyes and complexion.

Yeah, I feel like Dillon used us. I was the babysitter and Isaiah was writing blank checks for everything else she needed. I feel like while Isaiah bore the financial and emotional brunt, Dillon took his time figuring out what to do. And while I understand the sticky situation Dillon was in, having to admit he’d had an affair with his boss’s wife, why he had a DNA test done, and hiring a lawyer before speaking with Isaiah, the timing couldn’t have been worse.

Having finished his call with Will in the master bedroom, Isaiah enters the living room. He has on the drawstring cotton pants he wore yesterday and to bed last night and a clean shirt. He took a shower before the meeting and his hair is matted.

I think that’s progress. The day we were supposed to go to the zoo, we didn’t get out of our pajamas at all. We were both sweaty and stinkier than a dirty diaper and our faces were tight from crying at every adorable thing Aria did the entire afternoon. Neither of us were prepared to believe we were about to be cut out of the rest of her milestones. We still aren’t.

After making plans to celebrate, we’re missing Aria’s birthday.

“How’d it go?” I repeat.

I ask the same question so much I should record a button to press instead of opening my mouth.

“I’ll issue a statement. The PR team is working on it.” He reaches for Aria.

The baby snuggles into his chest, and he kisses her forehead, sighing. “Ready for sleeps?” he murmurs.

“Before you put her down, do you want the list of dates I already have commitments?” If what we have going on wasn’t enough, Will set me up with a junior partner at his firm to manage the staggering number of requests. She’s probably as low on the totem pole as a secretary, but at least she’s not Ben. Isaiah couldn’t deal with one more man Kylie cheated on him with right now.

“Not now. Just have Janine email it to Vespa or something,” he says on second thought. “She’ll forward it to the right people.”

They disappear into the bedroom. The door stays open a crack. This is how nap time goes. The two of them dozing together. Aria peacefully unaware and Isaiah as fitful as he is at night, figuring out how he’s supposed to live without her.

A baby changes everything.

Monty says Isaiah’s current depression is nothing compared to last summer. He’s doing well. He has the chance to say goodbye in a way he couldn’t when Aria was born.

Still, it’s so unfair.

If Isaiah didn’t need me, I’d turn tail. I miss the tranquility of walking the empty fields at the ranch. I want to escape into my own head without worrying he thinks I’ve abandoned him, too. But I won’t risk our relationship in the tender spot it is in.

I love him and being here is the only way I can help.

I wipe a tear rolling down my face and lick my chapped lips.

“You okay, Miss Cavanaugh?” Monty handles the doorknob, breaking the silence.

The hulking shoulders I’ve relied on to keep us safe seem to crumble under the sadness.

The security detail has been professional throughout everything. They and Isaiah’s assistant are dedicated to him. Except, they work for him and that has my already frayed nerves coming apart at the seams. As much as I like Monty and have come to appreciate Vespa’s knack for getting things done, no one should have to worry if they’re paying someone for their sympathy.

I know Isaiah and Monty are close. Isaiah counted on his bodyguard while he navigated the mess Kylie left in her wake. I suppose it’s unrealistic to think Monty is unaffected by the outcome. He was there when the doctors told Isaiah that Kylie hadn’t made it. He drove Aria home from the hospital. He was the baby whisperer when she was a fussy infant and he always pushes her stroller, even when he doesn’t have to.

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