Page 105 of Rumor Has It

“They’re good people. We hung around after shooting the video, but I didn’t spend much time with them the rest of the year.” I read between the lines. Being close to the couple had to have highlighted the shortcomings in his relationship and made Isaiah feel worse. “We should arrange for them to visit this fall,” he says as the lights dim.

Everyone claps as the show begins. The massive screens on either side of the stage remind me of the ones at the concert venues. We’re in no less than three wide shots and a close-up when the MC makes Piper and Adriel the butt of a joke during the opening monologue. The first winner rises from their seat at the far end of our row and I’m glad to give my cheeks a rest when they accept their award.

Each time a singer or musician leaves to go backstage or returns from presenting or performing, it’s a stealth and coordinated series of events I hadn’t considered while watching an awards show on TV.

At a commercial break, Isaiah shimmies past me and another black-clad member of the event staff escorts him backstage. My Uncle Cris replaces Isaiah, and an audience extra takes my uncle’s spot next to Rhiannon.

“How are you holding up, Cass?” Uncle Cris asks.

I look down and he’s got a hand pressed to my knee.

“Thank you,” I sigh. Unbeknownst, I was bouncing the surrounding chairs. “I’ll be okay… When it’s all over.”

“Of course you will. No matter what happens tonight.” He refers to the amount of attention Isaiah and I receive when we’re in public. “I know it takes some getting used to when people on the street recognize you. But you’re fine now, too. You’re humble, sweetheart. You have a level of humility like your Aunt Daveigh and remind me a bit of Pepper,” he says of his accident prone daughter-in-law.

The comparison to Pepper gives me pause. My eldest cousin’s wife once believed the solution to her troubles was blending into the woodwork.

Awareness slithers up my spine as I parse the innocuous meaning behind Uncle Cris’s comment. He wouldn’t throw his attempt to calm my nerves into reverse by uttering something offensive.

But is that what I’ve been doing? Accepting less because I hadn’t believed I was worthy of more?

I accepted the bed-and-breakfast job when it felt like I was getting the cook position by default because there was nothing else my family would do for me. I didn’t throw the drink at Rude Rudy. I staunchly refused helping with anything related to my job during the holiday gathering. I agonized over Isaiah leaving and, even when he quickly returned—with an apology, an explanation, and saying he trusted me when his trust had been grievously broken—I hadn’t believed he was serious about a long-term relationship with me.

As much as I love Isaiah and adore Aria, somewhere deep down, I think I might have offered to pose as the baby’s mother for less than altruistic reasons. They are the best things that have ever happened to me. If I hadn’t held on to them tightly, they would’ve left me behind… And I had tired of being cast off.

Not only by the guys I dated, but by the people I trusted.

People like my uncle, though he has such sweet words for me right now. And my sister, though she was never bossy or unkind to me until I allowed Isaiah to go into the attic.

Maybe the longer I stayed at Kingsbrier, the more I felt… Taken for granted? And that feeling cuts deep. It makes you stop putting yourself out there so you won’t get trampled on when it seems like no one appreciates you.

The life I have now is fuller than I ever expected. Although, it has more to do with having a partner than what that partner does for a living.

It goes a long way to helping me understand that no matter what happened in the past, I can only change my perspective from this moment forward. Which means I need to act like an adult and accept responsibility for the direction my life was going in, instead of placing the blame on others.

I haven’t endured half the hardship Isaiah has and he’s able to look toward the future. A future he wants me to be a part of.

Me.

Cassidy Cavanaugh.

The house lights dim and Isaiah’s silhouette appears backlit on the stage. In the darkness, he reaches for the mic and sings the last lines of the ballad that topped the charts in December a cappella, followed by the first lines of “Lead Us Home”. The mash-up is hauntingly beautiful.

The auditorium is silent. However, there’s a buzzing between my ears. I understand the statement he’s making by beginning to sing while standing in the shadows.

Kylie’s his past. Not only is she not coming back, Isaiah is showing everyone that he’s moved on.

The drum beats. The guitars play. The stage lights ignite. And that’s when I see him.

He’s changed out of his tux and into his boots, jeans, tee, and a button up. Everything he wears every day is part of his stage costume. Yet, dressed down, he looks more like the relaxed guy I fell in love with than he did just a few minutes ago.

Isaiah sings for the audience, filled with his industry friends and powerhouse executives, and to his rabid fans watching on their couches. He uses his lyrics to prove to them that I’m here tonight because I’m his present.

Hold onto my hand. Let’s see where this takes us.

Let me give you my heart. I think love can lead us home.

I want the man who has faith in me as my future.

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