Page 77 of Jack

I haven’t allowed tears to fall in years. I can’t stop them tonight. I squeeze my eyes shut and press my lips next to her ear. “I love you, Lily. I can’t lose you.”

The gunshots stop. Sirens pierce the air. Something breaks through my front door. The sound of heavy boots run through the house and up the stairs. I raise my head as my cousin destroys what’s left of my bedroom door. Jay’s a wild man, completely unhinged tonight.

“Jack.” Jay drops to the floor next to us.

“She’s hit. It’s bad, Jay.”

Jay and Rodeo pull me out of the way so the Sheriff and two paramedics can get to Lily.

“Her pulse is weak.”

“Blood pressure is dropping.”

“Bullet in the back.”

“We need to go now!”

I don’t know who says what. I’m stuck in some weird tunnel. It’s all faint and distant. A stretcher moves into the room, and my heart is lifted onto it. An oxygen mask covers Lily’s mouth and nose.Please, let it help.

“Come on, Jack. We’re following her to the hospital.”

That’s Jay. I’d know his voice anywhere. It’s the voice I latch onto and follow. My cousin becomes my strength and keeps me on my feet.

The Sheriff steps in front of me, blocking my view of the paramedics taking Lily from the room. I find the strength to push him aside and follow the stretcher down the stairs. Even without legs, I’d find a way to follow her.

“Jack.” The Sheriff catches up with me. “Are you hit, Jack? Do you need medical attention, too?”

He’s doing his job. He’s trying to help. I don’t see it that way right now. I spin around on him and point to the stretcher, moving across the living room.

“No! She needs it! Nothing else matters!” I jab the Sheriff in the chest. “You do your job and find them!”

“Let’s go, Jack. No time for this.” Jay pulls me out the front door.

“We’ll be at the hospital, Sheriff.” Rodeo follows us down the steps.

“Jack! Jack!” Mom runs across the front yard and launches into my arms.

“She was shot, Mom. I gotta go.” I watch the back doors of the ambulance close and lose my balance. Jay keeps me upright.

“Go, son. We’ll meet you at the hospital.” Dad pulls Mom back.

He points to the rest of our family clinging to each other across the yard. Firefighters hold everyone else back. They’re all here. Safe. Unharmed. Logan dips his chin, letting me know he’s taking care of them. Best nephew a man could ask for.

“Jack, get in.” Rodeo holds the passenger door of Jay’s truck open. It’s exactly like mine. I glance over to mine. It’s riddled with holes, and every window is shattered.

I get in. Rodeo gets in the backseat. Jays follows the ambulance out the gate. Lights flash. Sirens scream. The speed at which we travel isn’t anywhere close to legal. Jay stays within two car lengths behind the ambulance all the way to the hospital.

I drop my head into my hands. My body shakes as I fall apart even more. I know exactly how Dad feels now. I can’t lose her. I can’t bury anyone else.

Chapter 34

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Jack

Everything about hospital waiting rooms is horrible. The chairs aren’t comfortable, no matter how nice they look. So I don’t sit. Can’t. It’s impossible. The room is too small. It has nothing to do with the fact my family, friends, and brothers fill every chair and empty spaces along the walls. Some even line the hallway outside the door.

More brothers and families are downstairs in the main waiting room. When we overfilled the main waiting room earlier, a nurse brought us up here. The entire room stood to follow her. The nurse said the immediate family only. Everyone still waited to follow her. Dad stepped forward and divided our group. My family and our closest friends are up here. We’re Lily’s immediate family for ever how long she has left, whether it’s a few hours, minutes, or seconds. She’s ours. If it’s years or decades, she’s ours. Mine. She’s mine, and I failed her.

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