Page 100 of For Love and Blood and Fury

She was tired again when she stepped out of the bathroom. Elena was seated on the long, curved white leather couch. No wine in sight. It was probably just as well, Zuri’s thoughts were already muddled.

“I have to go,” Elena said when she looked up at her, tone missing all its bite.

“Is this really the only way? Killing? Risking your life?” Marisol asked when she appeared from the bedroom. Hair wet and in nothing but a T-shirt, she’d obviously taken Zuri’s snarky advice literally. “Violence just breeds more violence, Elena. You kill these people for killing your… subjects? Children?” She shook her head like she was still unsure, but realized that the specifics didn’t matter. “They killed people close to you, so now you’re going to kill them. But you can’t dive into the water without making waves. Someone is going to seek you out. To escalate this fight even further.”

Elena’s tense body softened. Looking at Marisol with something like regret, she hesitated to speak, as if every syllable carried immeasurable weight. “Then I will have to be sure to leave none who would seek revenge.”

“I just hate this so much,” Marisol said so quietly, but it burned in Zuri’s chest.

It was normal to reject violence. To be revolted by it at this scale. What did it say about Zuri that the only life she cared about in the impending melee was Elena’s? That she wanted her to slaughter every piece of shit who wished her ill? That she wanted the people who might ever come after Bambi extinguished.

It probably said that she was just as fucked up as Elena, and Marisol should run the hell away from them both. She was still so unencumbered by choices she couldn’t unmake.

She should go and Zuri should tell her so, but she couldn’t make her mouth move. She couldn’t look into the eyes that had been crying so much that the green and honey of her irises looked like they’d been hand-painted by Militia of Babylon. A parting gift from an ancient beauty lost to time.

Zuri was trapped. It was too late. She was in too deep to walk away, so she walked toward assured destruction instead, the faint scent of gardenias leading the way.

Elena stood, meeting Zuri at Marisol’s side just before Marisol started crying again. “I’m just so scared,” she admitted, a crack in her voice that triggered Zuri to rest her hand on Marisol’s lower back while Elena slipped her arm around her waist.

“Me too,” Elena responded in a way Zuri would never have expected.

Zuri looked away from Marisol’s flushed face and at Elena’s unprotected one. It was rare for Elena to drop her fanged baddie persona, her fearlessness. Zuri had only known this side of her in rare moments alone.

“I…” Emotion swelled in Elena’s voice and ended any illusion Zuri entertained about not being so fucking all-in it was pathetic. “I wish I could say that it is easy to leave you and do what I must. There is no doubt in my mind that I will return.” She let her gaze drift between Marisol and Zuri like a gentle touch. “But there is the thinnest spider silk thread of risk. I’ve lived long enough to believe that anything is possible and nothing lasts forever.”

“Then don’t go,” Marisol begged because she was braver than Zuri. Because she could somehow see beyond revenge in a way Zuri couldn’t. Because she didn’t know that creatures, vampire or otherwise, willing to kill without remorse would never stop.That when you’d already gone too far, the road back was blocked.

For a fraction of a second, Elena looked like she might consider it. Like she wished shecouldconsider it.

“She’ll be back,” Zuri said with a voice too heavy to be hers. “You know how that Spanish saying goes.” She swallowed around the dry lump in her throat. “Bad bugs never die. She knows she has no fucking choice but to come back in one piece.” Zuri wrapped her prayer in a threat.

Elena’s attention lingered on Zuri, boring into her. “No matter how many times the road forks, it keeps leading me back to you.” She reached out, finding Zuri’s hand and intertwining their fingers to break Zuri’s grip on her own emotions. “I’ll never lose my way again.” She turned to Marisol while Zuri tried to remember how to speak. “And fate forged a new path to you.” She pulled Marisol closer. “Our missing piece. I won’t break your heart with more loss,” she promised before kissing her.

Marisol’s deep flush rushed from her neck straight up to her forehead, setting every freckle on fire. Eyes wide and glistening when she eased out of Elena’s kiss, she looked at Zuri as if expecting her to disagree. She couldn’t. There was only one weak objection she had left to lodge, and it had nothing to do with Bambi.

“Nothing has changed,” Zuri said despite the ache in her chest. “I am not turning and you don’t want to outlive another… relationship.” She couldn’t bring herself to call it love. Naming things gave them power and life. “What’s the point of putting ourselves through this again? It’s going to end the same way it did the first time.”

When Elena met her gaze, she looked like the girl in her memories. An untamed tempest thrashing in her dark eyes. She wore the ignorant hope of youth in the smile tugging on one side of her lips. “Enduring the pain of missing you to avoid the painof missing you… has not exactly worked out as I expected.” She drew in a breath too deep to be human. “I accept you… as you are… for as long as you are.”

Heart pounding hard enough to make her dizzy, Zuri shook her head. “And what if you regret that when?—”

“I can’t possibly regret it as much as I have regretted letting you walk out of my life.” Elena turned to Marisol again. “Though I fear those fates of yours might have seen that there would be a reward for waiting.”

In five years, Zuri had been completely unable to let Elena go. Despite amulets and spells aimed at releasing Elena’s hold on her heart, she’d stayed hers. Resisting felt futile. Felt like something she was fucking tired of doing.

“So, what? Ride it till the wheels fall off?” Zuri joked while surrendering into the current pulling her into Elena and Marisol.

“Got any better ideas?” Elena let go of her hand to cradle her jaw instead.

“Maybe this time the wheels will keep spinning,” Marisol said before kissing Zuri, lips soft and warm and burned into her useless heart. “I don’t have your history,” she whispered before pulling away. “I can’t compete?—”

“There’s no competition, Bambi,” Zuri interrupted before the doubt in her hazel eyes grew. “I don’t know exactly what we’re doing?—”

“And that just drives you crazy,” Elena said with too much confidence.

“But,” Zuri set her bitch glare to kill before softening, “what we’re definitely not doing is competing.” She took Elena’s hand again and with the other, ran her fingers through Bambi’s damp hair. “I hate to admit when Elena is right, but something here feels annoyingly right. Let’s just focus on getting through tonight.” She caressed the nape of Bambi’s neck with herfingertips. “We have so much to discover about each other.” There were words of balance and strength and support in Zuri’s heart, but she left them lodged in her throat. She’d cracked herself open enough for a year.

Elena’s energy shifted, stiffening like a soldier snapping to attention. “I hate to leave like this.” She didn’t need to add that she was running out of time and her mob’s pitchforks and torches were getting cold.

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