Page 98 of One Life to Loathe

“She’s not the queen,” Bethany argued automatically.

“She is, though,” I supplied. “She’s the one who has been around the longest. She’s the one who has truly earned this. Why can’t you just let her be the queen?”

“Because I’m too old to be the princess, and if I’m not the queen, then what does that leave me?”

The response might’ve sounded off the wall to someone else, but I understood it a little too well. “I get it,” I said. “You’re an adult, though. Isn’t it better to not get a crown than to be the punching bag in all the tabloid rags?”

Bethany shot me an incredulous look. “Are you kidding me? At least this way I’ll be talked about. Otherwise, I won’t even be mentioned. Being laughed at is bad. Being forgotten is the worst.”

I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better.

“You’re not there yet, but you’ll get there,” Bethany said. “The worst thing in the world is not to be considered at all. So, yeah, it bothers me that Sylvia is the queen. It’s going to bother me when the story gets out about what’s going on between you and Leo … and you’re definitely going to get the short end of the stick there.”

Behind me, Leo stiffened. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come on.” Bethany rolled her eyes. “Misogyny is alive and well. You’ll be painted as this amazing guy even when you dump her and move on. She’ll be painted as a lonely spinster who had one shot at happiness before losing it.”

“Who says I’m going to dump her and move on?”

I froze at the words. It took everything I had to regulate my breathing. I knew that he’d said what he’d said in the moment and he didn’t mean it. It was what I wanted to hear, though. It was what I needed to hear. I wanted to be the reason he stuck with the show … or at least came back to visit.

Sure, deep down, I knew that wasn’t reality. Still, he’d said it. Did that mean he was thinking about it, too?

“Whatever.” Bethany waved off Leo’s outrage. “I really am sorry for hurting you, Sam. It won’t happen again. You have my word.”

“It’s okay,” I automatically replied.

“No, it’s not,” Leo said. “I’m going to be watching you. If you hurt her again, I’m going to get you removed from the cast.”

It was a bold threat, and one I wasn’t expecting. “Leo,” I chastised.

“No.” He was vehement when shaking his head. “It’s time to grow up, Bethany. You can’t fall apart because you’re not the princess or queen … whatever that’s supposed to mean. What you are is an adult. Act like it.”

“I said I was sorry.” Annoyance flashed in Bethany’s eyes. “Geez. What is with you?”

That’s what I wanted to know. What was up with Leo? I just waved her off. “It’s fine. Tell Miles I’m on my way back in. I want to get to this scene.”

“Okay.” Bethany looked uncertain. “As long as you’re feeling up to it, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m good.” Other than being confused by what Leo had said—something I didn’t dare question him about because I didn’t want my bubble burst—I was just peachy. “Give me five minutes. Then we’ll get back at it.”

“I’ll tell them.” Bethany smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “You guys are cute. This news will do wonders for the show.”

For once, the show was the furthest thing from my mind. Just what was I going to do about these feelings for Leo? They clearly weren’t going anywhere. I was on a collision course for pain.

Unless, maybe, I wasn’t. Could I hope for that? It felt wrong, and yet I couldn’t keep the smidgen of light I’d let in be fully smothered.

Maybe we did have a future after all.

25

TWENTY-FIVE

Ididn’t care that everybody knew.

When Sam first suggested we should keep the information to ourselves, I was irritated because I thought she was ashamed of what we were doing. When she explained why she was afraid of people finding out, I changed my opinion. Protecting her was important. Hell, it was the most important thing in the world to me.

After a while, I enjoyed that we had this big secret nobody else knew about. Well, other than Jax and Daisy. And Levi I suspected, although he never confirmed that. The fact that we had to avoid busy areas and were always going out just the two of us meant that I could have her all to myself. I liked that. It became just as important to me as it was to Sam to keep things on the down-low.

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