Page 15 of One Life to Loathe

“I said you were alittlebig,” the man insisted, his eyes wild when he turned. “You’re pregnant. You’re supposed to be big.”

The woman who waddled—yes, waddled—up to the hostess stand had her hand on her lower back. Her stomach was the size of a beach ball, making her look misshapen because the rest of her—well, other than her enormous breasts—was thin and almost frail looking in the shadow of that stomach.

“Wow,” was all I could say.

“Wow is right,” Leo muttered from behind me. “I just … wow.”

“Who are you two wowing?” the mother-to-be demanded as she glared at Leo and me. “I don’t need your judgment. I know how I look.”

“Baby, you look beautiful,” the man insisted as he moved toward her. “You’re glowing from within.”

“I’m not glowing,” the woman replied. “That’s sweat. I’m constantly hot because this baby—your offspring—is cooking me from the inside.”

I darted a worried look toward Daisy. She seemed adamant when suggesting we visit her friend’s restaurant. Now did notlook like a good time, though. To my utter surprise, Daisy was smiling. Apparently, she wasn’t bothered by the scene at all.

“Samantha Summers and Leo Powell, this is Lux and Jesse Crane,” Daisy volunteered. “As you can see, they’re … basking in imminent parenthood.”

“Oh, don’t you start,” Lux—and what a unique name that was, although it seemed to fit her—pinned Daisy with a death glare. “Where have you been? It’s been almost a week since you last saw me.”

Daisy didn’t let the other woman’s tone bother her. “I had a Sweet Sixteen from hell and then we had to get ready for that film crew that’s invading us for the next six weeks,” she replied, unruffled. “I told you that I would be busy but would find time to visit you in the hospital if you went into labor.”

Lux didn’t look placated by the information. “Are you kidding me? I’m clearly never going into labor. This baby is going to keep growing until he kills me.”

“She’s overdue,” Jesse said in a low voice. He was a man who looked as if he wanted to flee for the hills. I honestly couldn’t blame him. His wife was utterly terrifying. “A week now,” he added. “She’s a week overdue.”

“Well, didn’t the doctor say that could happen with first babies?” Daisy challenged. “I remember you mentioning something like that.”

“I mentioned it when I thought it wouldn’t happen,” Lux fired back. “I have a week-old child inside of me, Daisy. He needs to get out!” She roared the last part at her own belly.

“She’s not in the best headspace,” Jesse volunteered. “She actually told me she was going to lock me in those stocks outside the Witch Dungeon Museum and leave me there until she gives birth if I didn’t stop telling her how beautiful she was last night.”

“And I stand by that.” Lux gave her husband the sort of glare that my mother reserved for when she was deathly serious. “You deserve to be locked up after what you did.”

“What did you do?” Daisy asked.

“I didn’t do anything,” Jesse replied. “I just suggested that, since we’re having a boy and hot dogs were so important to us, that maybe we should consider the name Frank. I thought she would laugh.”

If a human being could shoot fire out of their eyes, that human being would be Lux right now. I swear her nostrils flared like she was a bull. “We’re not naming our child—the infant who is going to have your big head and ruin your favorite playground—after a hot dog!”

Discomfort rode roughshod over me, and I took an inadvertent step back, smacking directly into Leo’s chest. Rather than shove me away, his arm came around me, and he anchored me there in an oddly sweet protective gesture.

“She can’t catch you,” he said in a low voice, his mouth directly next to my ear. “She’s too big. We’ll run for it if she even looks in our direction.”

I didn’t want to laugh—this woman’s misery was obvious—but there was no swallowing the guffaw that bubbled up.

“Are you seriously poking the bear right now?” Daisy asked when she heard the noise I’d made. She did a double take when she registered Leo had his arm around me.

“I’m really nervous,” I replied. “I don’t even know what to do right now I’m so nervous.” I lowered my voice. “I swear she looks as if she could rip my throat out with her teeth.”

“That’s another thing!” Lux threw her hands in the air. “Do you know how many calories I’m eating a day?”

“It’s okay to eat, baby,” Jesse said. “You have to keep yourself strong.”

“Stop talking to me.” Lux glared at her husband. “Just stop.” With that, she turned on her heel and flounced—or tried to—toward the kitchen. Given the extra weight she was carrying around, it was more of a meander.

“What does the doctor say?” Daisy asked when she was gone.

“Any minute now,” Jesse replied. “I honestly can’t wait to get that thing out of her. She’s getting more and more evil by the day.”

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