Page 108 of One Life to Loathe

“Thank you,” I said dumbly. I was numb to the point of no return.

“As for the last scene today, we’re going to add it to the shoot tomorrow,” Miles said. “We’re done for the day.” He cast a dark look toward the other side of the room, to where Bethany and Sylvia were glowering at one another. “We have more than one problem to solve.”

It was a relief when he left. I didn’t want to burst out crying in front of him. I also didn’t want to have this conversation with Leo on the set where anybody could overhear us. “I should hit the shower.” I was careful not to make eye contact with Leo. “I smell, and I need to rest a little bit.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. “I know we said we were getting dinner but I’m tired. Let’s do it tomorrow or something, huh?”

I didn’t wait for his response. I headed for the door. I needed to put some distance between us.

“Sam, please, don’t walk away from me.” Leo’s voice cracked. I still couldn’t look at him, though, because I would be the one who cracked into a million pieces if I looked into his eyes right now. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “This is your dream part. It’s going to launch you back to the tier you’ve been waiting for. Of course you know what you’re going to do.”

“Actually, I don’t,” he countered. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. I just … don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”

Dexter didn’t bother saying his goodbye. He just slunk away. That was a wise move.

“You’re going to do what’s best for you.” It took everything I had to keep my voice from breaking. “We had an agreement, right? You were always going to take this role. You were always going to move on to bigger and better things.”

“Sam, please look at me,” Leo begged.

I couldn’t. I was right on the edge. “I’m really happy for you.” My voice broke when I said it. “You worked really hard, and this is what you wanted, so I’m proud of you.”

“Baby, don’t you say goodbye to me right now,” Leo barked. “Please, just … we can talk about it. I’ve wanted to talk about it with you since I got the news. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” I lied. “This is exactly what you wanted, and I want you to be happy.” Somehow—and I wasn’t certain how—I managed to lift my chin and meet his gaze. My heart shattered in my chest at the anguished look on his face. He didn’t want to hurt me. He’d said that over and over again. I’d been the one to put myself in the position to be hurt. I had to give him what he needed here. It wasn’t fair to torture him.

“I’m glad for you,” I insisted. “You’re going to do great things. We always knew there was an expiration date on this relationship.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to take it,” Leo argued. “I have until tomorrow night to decide. I just … we can talk it out.”

“No.” I shook my head. “This is your future. This is what you wanted. I can’t stand in the way of that simply because you don’t want to hurt me. You have to do what’s right for you.”

With that, I turned toward the door. “I’ll see you later. Again, congratulations.”

“Sam!” He barked my name.

I didn’t look over my shoulder, though. I simply walked through the door, head held high. I had already lost him, even if he didn’t want to see it.

27

TWENTY-SEVEN

My anger had teeth, and I wanted to take a bite out of somebody. The only target was Miles, however, and he hadn’t technically done anything wrong.

The Leo from a month ago would’ve attacked him anyway. I was hurting, so why not burn down every bridge I could on my way out? I didn’t do that, though. Instead, I headed for the door.

“What are you going to do?” Dexter asked.

I hadn’t even realized he was still there. I thought he’d left. Apparently, he’d circled around and come back.

“I don’t know.” That was the truth. Sam had given me my out. I could finish shootingEvermore.They would kill me off in the finale, making it a huge cliffhanger. I didn’t even like the show. Although … was that really true any longer? It didn’t feel true. Somewhere along the way I had become invested in the show.

You’re invested in Sam.That pesky inner voice of mine wanted to have an entire conversation right now. I simply didn’t have the energy.

“I need some air,” was all I said to Dexter.

“Okay. Congratulations on the movie, man. That’s a big deal.”

It felt like a death sentence more than an opportunity. “Thanks,” I replied dully.

---