Page 67 of The Amendment

I could never tell him about our sessions, or how it genuinely felt like maybe she was helping me.

I was back for my third session, and they’d already begun to feel like a much-needed reprieve.

I wasn’t sure I could make it without Joanna anymore.

I couldn’t let Peter take her from me.

“Are you married, Joanna?” I asked, glancing over at her from where I sat.

She looked taken aback. “Um, no. We really shouldn’t be talking about that, Annie. This is about you.”

Because we weren’t friends. I had to remember that.

She was my therapist.

That was it.

“You just have so much insight into all of this. You must have someone.”

“Well, actually, I do have a boyfriend,” she said finally. “He’s been out of town, but he’ll be back soon. He’s supposed to be coming to my house when he gets into town.”

“When will that be?”

“This weekend,” she lied. “Maybe sooner.”

“That’ll be nice,” I told her. She had no reason to lie to me. Her boyfriend’s body was currently decaying several feet from where I slept at night. Still, I didn’t press the issue.

Back to business. I sucked in a breath, picking at the skin around my finger. “Tell me the truth. Is it crazy to still want to be with my husband? After everything? The lies? The sneaking around? Are we just bad for each other?”

She seemed to contemplate my questions, a flicker of fear in her eyes. I’d told her too much, perhaps. I think she was starting to worry. She chose her words carefully. “I think sometimes people show us who they are, and we have to choose whether or not we’re going to believe them. There’s personality, Annie, and there’s human nature. Some things can be changed. Some people can change. But some things, some things are so deep down at the core of who we are, no matter what the people aroundus do, nothing will change us. If Pete has shown you who he is, you have to decide if you can live with it. If he’s unwilling to change, you have to decide ifyou’regoing to change. Because if you’re both unhappy, one of you has to.”

I nodded slowly. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was what I was slowly starting to understand.

My eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall, realizing how much time had passed. Peter would be getting ready to leave the office, and I needed to head out.

“I should go.”

She started to protest—we had so much more to talk about and I was cutting our time short—but I needed to go. I had too much swimming through my head. I needed time to process it all before I saw my husband.

I wasin the kitchen later when Maisy and Bailey walked in the door, laughing about a joke I hadn’t heard.

“Hey, Mom. How was work?”

“Work was work,” I said. “Did I tell you Tara’s having a baby?”

Maisy’s eyes lit up. “She is? No way! When is she due?”

“Well, she just found out a few weeks ago, so she’s very early still. She’s due sometime next summer. She brought in a sonogram today.” I pulled out my phone and showed her the photograph I’d snapped. “See that tiny white speck? That’s the baby.”

“Awww… It’s so little.”

I closed my phone. “Hey, do you think I could talk to you for a second?”

Maisy looked at Bailey hesitantly. “Uh… About what?”

“It’ll just take a second. Bailey, I made that tray of snacks for you girls. Why don’t you carry it to the bedroom?”

She paused with a worried glance toward Maisy, but finally agreed. “Sure thing, Mrs. G.” She lifted the tray of veggies and hummus and carried it down the hall. Once I’d heard the door shut, I turned to my daughter.

---