Page 28 of The Amendment

“No,” she told him, then looked at me. “It’s fine. I didn’t just stop showing up. I told Coach last year I wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t dance in the fall or spring, either. I thought you knew.”

“Why didn’t anyone call me? Why didn’t you tell me? Does your dad know? Why are we still paying for your lessons?”

“Mom, the air!” Dylan panted, fanning himself.

“You aren’t. I never asked for the money after lastsummer and neither of you have been taking me to lessons, so I thought you’d gotten the hint. I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. Are you mad?”

I shook my head. How had I missed something so important. I felt two feet tall. “Of course I’m not mad, sweetheart. Of course not. I’m…surprised. I thought you loved dance.”

Tired of waiting for me, Dylan unbuckled, leaning past me and cranking the air up to full blast.

“I did love it, I guess. But I’m not into it anymore.”

I turned the air down a bit, trying to hear her better. “Why not? What about your friends? Are they still doing it?”

“No, we all quit. Bailey quit in the middle of the season last year, but Jennessa and I stuck it out until the recital.”

I shook my head, huffing out a breath. How had I missed so much? Why hadn’t anyone told me? How many times had I talked to her friends’ parents and no one mentioned it to me? Why? Did they think I knew? Were they trying to hide it from me? All of them?

“Do you have a drink, Mom?” Riley asked, his mouth full of chips. I passed him my bottle of water from the cup holder. “Thanks.”

“So you haven’t told your father?”

“You guys have been busy. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Busy? What do you mean?”

She looked down, glancing at her brothers, who each shrugged one shoulder, their mouths full of chips. “You guys seem stressed lately.”

“We aren’t stressed,” I lied through my teeth. “We’re fine. Why would you say that?”

“You’re acting the way Bailey’s parents did before they got divorced. All quiet and…weird.”

My heart plummeted to my stomach, the guilt weighing on me. I’d thought we’d hidden our problems so well, but apparently not.

Simplynot fightingin front of our children hadn’t been enough to convince them things were going smoothly.

“Is that what you all think?”

Hesitantly, all three heads began to nod.

I puffed out another breath. “You guys, we aren’t getting a divorce. And we’re never too busy for you. Do you hear me? We’ve had a lot going on with work, but you know the family comes first. If you need something, all you have to do is come talk to us, okay?”

The begrudging nods came again.

“Your father and I love each other very much. And we both love you all more than anything in the world.” I waited. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

“And I love air conditioning,” Dylan said, reaching to turn it up once again. This time, I let it stay on full blast, too exhausted to argue.

Their responses told me they didn’t believe me, and I was struck by how bad of a job I’d been doing holding us all together. It was all I wanted to do—to make sure they knew how perfect and lucky we were to have each other—but I’d apparently failed in every way.

That had to change.

This was exactly why we needed a weekend away together at the lake house. I’d spent so long feeling like mykids were pulling away from me, but now I realized maybe they’d been feeling the same way.

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