Page 26 of A Heart Disguised 1

I awoke with a start, my heart thrashing against my rib cage like a wild bird trying to escape its cage. My cheeks burned as if touched by flame, and then… I felt it. An unfamiliar pressure, an alien sensation between my legs.

Hesitantly, I lifted the sheets and looked down at myself. My eyes widened in horror. There, tenting the fabric of my nightshirt, was an unmistakable protrusion. I was… hard.

“No, no, no,” I whispered, panic rising in my throat like bile. “This can’t be happening.”

It was a sensation as foreign as it was alarming. I had heard my brothers, Henry and Gavin, speak in hushed, boastful tones about their early morning… predicaments, but I had always felt like an outsider to such masculine afflictions. I had never experienced this before, had never understood what they meant.

Until now.

My hands shook as I tried to will the hardness away. Why now? Why must my body choose this moment to betray me? When I was masquerading as a woman and set to marry a demon lord? The irony of the situation would have been laughable if it wasn’t so terrifying.

I sat up, my breath coming in short, panicked gasps as I stared down at this unwelcome development. What was I going to do? How could I hide this? The questions swirled in my mind like a maelstrom, each one more frantic than the last.

Bolting from the bed, I nearly tripped over Russet, who looked up at me with those knowing amber eyes. Starling, perched on the windowsill, cocked her head curiously before taking flight and following me.

“Russet, guard the door,” I whispered urgently, my voice trembling. “This is of the utmost importance. Don’t let anyone in, especially Meredith.”

I darted into the en suite bathroom, Starling swooping in just before I shut the door. My hands shook as I leaned against the cool wood, my breath coming in short, panicked gasps.

“What am I going to do, Starling?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as I looked down at myself. The hardness was still there, an unwelcome intruder in my carefully constructed facade. “This can’t be happening. Not now. Not here.”

I paced the bathroom, constantly glancing down at my betraying body. Starling watched from her perch on the edge of the bathtub, her golden eyes following my frantic movements.

“Do you think it will go away on its own?” I asked her desperately, knowing full well she couldn’t answer. “What if someone sees? What if… what if the duke finds out?”

The thought sent a fresh wave of panic through me. I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. My mind whirled with fragments of crude advice I’d overheard from the men in my life. I remembered the hushed conversations between the stable boys and gardeners at Aldercrest Manor, their coarse laughter as they discussed their “conquests.” Even Henry and Gavin weren’t immune to such talk, often boasting about their exploits with the village girls.

But their solutions always seemed to involve a woman—a notion that turned my stomach. I couldn’t understand their fascination with the fairer sex, nor could I imagine seeking out a woman to help with my current… predicament. The very thought made me shudder with discomfort.

“There has to be another way,” I muttered, glancing at Starling as if she might have the answer. Then a memory surfaced—hushed whispers and stifled laughter from the servants’ quarters. “Wait… there is another way, isn’t there? One that doesn’t involve… a woman.”

My cheeks burned hotter at the thought, embarrassment flooding through me. I couldn’t believe I was considering this, let alone in front of Starling. But in this moment of crisis, her presence was oddly comforting, a silent witness to my predicament who couldn’t judge or betray my secret.

With trembling hands, I shed my nightclothes, avoiding my reflection in the mirror for as long as I could. When I finally gathered the courage to look, I was struck by the contrast—my skin pale and almost ethereal, while the hardness between mylegs seemed almost obscene against the backdrop of my slender frame.

I swallowed hard, remembering fragments of overheard conversations. The stable boys had talked about… taking matters into their own hands, quite literally. Even my brothers, in their cruder moments, had alluded to such things when they thought I wasn’t listening.

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” I whispered, more to myself than to Starling. But what choice did I have? I couldn’t leave the bathroom in this state, and I certainly couldn’t risk anyone discovering my true nature.

Steeling myself, I slipped into the hot spring pool. The water was like liquid velvet, enveloping me in its soothing embrace. I closed my eyes, willing my racing heart to slow and my mind to clear.

With a trembling hand, I reached down, my fingers hesitantly encircling the rigid length of myself. The sensation was unlike anything I’d ever felt before—electric, overwhelming, a jolt of raw need that coursed through my veins. I gasped, nearly jerking my hand away at the intensity of it.

Tentatively, I began to stroke, each movement sending waves of unfamiliar pleasure crashing over me.Is this what all the fuss was about?I wondered, my mind reeling from the new sensations. In my inexperience, I tried to conjure the image of a beautiful woman, as I had heard the men describe, but the visage that formed was unmistakably Duke Darius.

Shirtless, his demonic heritage on full display, the duke stood before me in the halls of my imagination, his lips curved into that infuriatingly arrogant smirk. I remembered the way his tongue had claimed my mouth, the way his hands had held me with such possessive strength. His golden eyes seemed to burn with an inner fire, and his broad chest tapered down to a narrow waist, all hard planes and rippling muscle.

My strokes became more confident, more fervent, as I lost myself in the fantasy. My breath came in short, sharp gasps, and I felt myself chasing something—an elusive peak that I couldn’t quite comprehend but desperately wanted to reach. I was hot, so impossibly hot, and hard, and—

My eyes flicked open, locking on to Starling, who had hopped onto the edge of the pool, her golden eyes fixed on me.

“Oh, Starling, what a sight I must be,” I panted, the embarrassment of being caught in such a compromising position warring with the relentless drive of my arousal. My cheeks burned even hotter, if that was possible, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop.

With each stroke, I was back in Duke Darius’ arms, his tongue deep in my mouth, his body pressed against mine. The thought of him, the memory of his kiss, was all it took to finally send me over that unknown edge.

I came with a strangled cry, my body convulsing as waves of pleasure washed over me. It was overwhelming, almost frightening in its intensity, yet exquisite beyond anything I’d ever experienced. In the aftermath, I slumped against the side of the pool, my breath ragged, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest.

As the haze of pleasure slowly receded, I stared at my trembling hands in wonder. “Oh,” I whispered, understanding dawning. “So that’s why they…” I trailed off, my cheeks flushing anew as I thought of all the crude jokes and boasts I’d overheard. For the first time, I could comprehend why the men seemed so preoccupied with such acts, why they would risk so much for a moment of this blissful release.

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