Page 77 of Elemental Affections

Calya gave a pointed look to the tear-soaked towel. “Clearly.”

He was a liar. Many times over. Was there enough truth left between them, or had it, too, been ground into the dirt?

“How do I forgive someone who was willing to hurt me?” Dae said softly.

“You forgave me.”

“That—is that really the—”

“Why did you do it?” Calya held her sister’s eye. “Really, why, Ana? I know you don’t go by that anymore, but I’m saying this for her, too. That part of you deserves to know that I’m sorry. I was awful, and I knew it at the time I said it. Why did you forgive me?”

For a long moment, Dae didn’t speak. It had been horrible, walking away from her childhood home with her sister’s ridicule burning in her ears. But Calya had come back. Shown up on Dae’s doorstep. Maybe it was pathetic that Dae had been willing to move on at the first sign of remorse, yet life had been that much lighter with Calya in it.

“Because I wanted to,” Dae said. “I wanted my little sister back. But it can’t be that simple.”

“Why not? And is it really so simple? Or easy?” Calya asked. “You chose to go on faith that I won’t be nasty to you again, or that if I am thenI’mstill worth it. Thorns and all.”

“Of course you—”

“I am your little sister. You’re bound by the gods’ law to love me.” Calya preened. Quickly, she sobered. “From all you’ve said, yes, he fucked up, but he was being stupid for family reasons. Shouldn’t you, of all people, understand that? How many years of your life were tied up in the prospect of Brint fucking Avenor because you didn’t want to let Mother down?”

Dae’s mouth opened, protest at the ready. The weakness of the words had them dying in her throat.

Wry smile curving her lips, Dae said, “Fair point.”

Eunny came back in, interrupting Calya’s pert response. “Hey, Professor Vaadt is here and ask— Whoa! Is that your Adept One results?”

Dae showed her the letter, any answer promptly going up in a whoosh of air as Eunny hugged her.

“I knew it! We’ll celebrate later, but the professor asked to see you.”

Dae grimaced. “I’ve been putting off meeting. We’re supposed to discuss summer plans, but I’ve been … you know.”

“Moping,” Eunny supplied,

“Ask Vaadt,” Calya said. At Dae’s quizzical look, she made an exasperated noise. “You’ve been tying yourself in knots over unearned opportunity, but didn’t you say Vaadt was one of the people approving for the trip?”

“She’s got a point,” Eunny said. “Vaadt won’t sugarcoat it, they’re Eyllic. It’s against their nature.”

“I guess,” Dae said, drawing out the word. Nervous energy coiled in her stomach. If Ezzyn had used his influence, if the mentor she respected so much had bowed to—

Only one way to find out.

“Front corner window booth,” Eunny said as Dae got up. “It’s pretty quiet tonight, and no one’s seated nearby.”

“Miss Helm, please sit.” Vaadt gestured toward a seat across. “I hear that congratulations are in order.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Dae murmured. “For everything. The scholarship. I never would’ve…”

“It was well-deserved,” Vaadt said, filling in Dae’s emotional silence. “Speaking of, will you be applying for further aid for the fall term?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I’ve secured funding for Adept Two tuition.”

“And your plans for the summer? My colleague in Grae Port said you’ve expressed interest but haven’t officially applied for the project.” Vaadt peered at her. “Time is rather short for a summer study at this point, and frankly, still short if you wanted to research abroad for the fall.”

It was a good opportunity, but it was in Graelynd, when what she most wanted was to be in Rhell. Wanted yet didn’t. No, she desired it, she was simply afraid. Holding herself back, afraid to know the truth. To have her fears confirmed.

You came this far. You passed Adept One your first time out. You didn’t do all of it to repeat the past.

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