Page 76 of Elemental Affections

“Sure.” Eunny pushed back from the table. “Anyone want anything from the front?”

Dae and Calya declined in unison.

“Oh, Dae, this came for you from the university courier.” Yerina passed her an envelope with the school’s seal.

Dae cringed, until she saw that the seal was the bronze color of administration, not blue for the water department. Not a foolproof gauge, seeing as Professor Vaadt’s notes thus far hadn’t been formal enough to call for a seal. Dae figured she had another week or two before things escalated to such levels.

Dae broke open the envelope and scanned its contents as Eunny left with her aunt. Her brow wrinkled as she reread the short letter.

“Are you keeping me in suspense for a reason?” Calya asked.

“It’s my Adept One results.” Dae looked up, voice going faint. “I—I passed.”

There was a beat of silence, then Calya’s brows shot up. “You—you did it!” she exclaimed, each word louder than the one before.

Dae stared down at the paper as Calya raised her mug in a toast. She should’ve felt relieved. Joyous. Anything but this vague numbness. This mild … apathy and twinge of heartache. Because despite her younger sister and best friend being so close, she wished she could tell him. She could imagine the smile on his face, his congratulations. A murmur in her ear of how they might celebrate.

“What’s wrong?” Calya said, eyes narrowing. “Why aren’t you shrieking ecstatically or something?”

A puff of laughter escaped. “Because I tend to do that?”

“A year ago, I wouldn’t have thought you’d apply to Sylveren in secret and risk Mother’s wrath. What do I know of your tendencies?” Calya shrugged. “Why so glum? Isn’t this exactly what you wanted?”

“Yea,” Dae said. “Yea … it is.”

Of course it was. She had her Adept One, and a promising opportunity back in Central District working in Grae Port’s harbor. Back to her home waters, if she wanted it. Still environmental restoration, and without any shadow of Ezzyn haunting her steps. She’d achieved what she’d set out to do, so why did she feel so empty?

Dae blinked. To her horror, water fell from her face onto her lap. Tears.It couldn’t be happening, not when everything was goingright.She’d never been this upset even when her life with Brint had turned out to be little more than a broken promise. Yes, she’d been angry and devastated by turns, so many times, but the emotions hadn’t made it so far as tears.

How could she be so mad at Ezzyn yet miss him at the same time? Or worse,worryabout him? The image of cracked skin, how he’d bled through his bandages from pushing too hard…

Calya let out a low whistle. “Wow. I think Eunny’s right. Youarein love.” She nudged a scrap of old tea towel in Dae’s direction.

“I’m not. It was just … it was nothing. Excitement in the moment, that’s all.” Dae mopped her eyes. “I’m happy.”

“I can tell.”

“I am!” Dae said, her emphasis undermined by having to wipe another tear. She bit her lip, willing her eyes to get themselves under control. “I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“No, not this time. Ezzyn Sor’vahl.” Calya clicked her tongue. “You had a schoolgirl crush on him when he was your tutor. That was a fluffy, in-the-moment thing. But you really are heartbroken this time.”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because—ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe you should give it a chance?”

Dae didn’t try to mask her skepticism. “Really? You? She who thinks love and romance is childish?”

“I said it was fantasyland when it came to serious— It doesn’t matter.” Calya huffed. “I’ve never seen you react like this. Maybe it means something.”

A small, dejected laugh was Dae’s only response.

“You’re both hurting, and it sounds like he’d try to make it better. I mean, make him earn it, yes, but also maybe give him a chance to do so?”

“I can’t. It’s my fault, too. I didn’t learn from past mistakes.” Dae set the towel scrap on the table. A deeper form of grief squeezed her chest, too despondent to be alleviated by tears. “Ezzyn … that kind of life is just falling back into old patterns in the end. This year was supposed to be about moving past that. Starting fresh. I did this for magic, not to find love.”

“If this year was only about proving yourself as a mage, then you would’ve taken the HNE job when Mother offered it,” Calya said. “You were supposed to finally get whatyouwanted.”

“I did.” Dae indicated her Adept One results.

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