Page 68 of Elemental Affections

Wincing as he got to his feet, he stalked after her, shaking out his hands to try and expel the tremors. “Then you can fix them in the morning,” he said. “The spells will hold enough. We could gain ten, twelve more feet for the perimeter if I can clear enough ground tonight.”

Dae dropped the wards back into their crate. “We’re leaving in the morning.”

“All the more reason to—”

“Ezzyn.” The sadness in her voice, the defeat, thepity,made him bristle. He’d heard it from everyone else a dozen times over, and now for it to come from her… He was the only one who saw the sacrifices Rhell required.

He turned away from her and dug through the standard first-aid kit kept in every field tent. He found the generic healing ointment and upended it straight onto his bandages, hissing as it worked a mild cleansing on his raw skin.

“None of you will do what it takes,” he muttered.

“This camp is full of people working to stop the poison every day! You aren’t alone in this.”

“You mean the darlingRestorers of the Alliance?”he said, all but choking on the name. “The precious Rhell Accord that will serve us up a slow death?”

“I mean the people here, day in and day out, working themselves to the bone just as you are. The ones who’ve been here for years, because they care and it’s their kingdom, too.” Dae came to stand before him, hands reaching out. Hesitating.

He wanted to lean into her touch. To accept her comfort and her optimism.

It was a weakness he couldn’t afford. He’d allowed himself too much already.

Ezzyn flinched, not a dramatic motion but plain. Clenched his jaw, let his hands ball into fists so the pain of his wounds grounded him. So it kept him from going to her and soothing the hurt that crossed her face at his rejection.

Forgive me,he almost said.I didn’t mean it.

“I’m willing to give my life for this place. This camp isn’t full of such commitment,” he said coldly. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Who else will say the same?”

For a moment, she didn’t speak. Only stared at him, a shadow falling over her face. “Did you use your influence to get my proposal accepted?”

Ezzyn stiffened. “What?”

“Did you tell your brother about me? Did you imply that my”—her voice wavered—“myfamilywould provide support for my research?”

The truth would be so simple. Freeing. He could head this off before it spiraled into something unnecessary. Something dark, irreparable.

“Who told you?” Ezzyn said.

His resolve nearly crumbled at her sharp inhale. “Is it true?”

He didn’t answer, eyes locking with hers as he waited.

“Brint.” Her expression begged him to deny it. “He said…”

Ezzyn didn’t need to hear the rest. Brint fucking Avenor. He couldn’t seem to be fully rid of the worm, or was it Anadae who would never be free? But in this, perhaps Avenor had given him a way out. Unintentionally, but Ezzyn was weak. He cared for Anadae too much, was too cowardly to leave on his own. She helped him believe in impossible things, made him willing to rely on faith. He would never be able to focus on the work that had to be done if her comfort was a refuge. She offered it freely, cared for him.

But if she didn’t?

She cared for him, yet the doubts lurked. His silence had confirmed as much. Now all it would take was a nudge.

“I can imagine what he said,” Ezzyn sneered. “He’s one to talk, considering all of the business he tried to make up here. Classless.”

Anadae shook her head, dismay etched on her face. “You lied to me. You lied. You said you didn’t have anything to do with the proposals.”

“I’m a prince of Rhell,” he said, softly, with a touch of true remorse.

“I told you that I wanted to earn this on my own.” Angrily, she dashed unshed tears with the back of her hand. “You knew it! You knew what this year meant to me.”

He did. Her old fears, the insecurities he’d once poked at with contempt, hadn’t been overcome. They’d only lain dormant, and perhaps he was as much to blame as Avenor. Two specters from her past, the old life she’d given herself a year to break from.

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