Page 10 of The Wrong Fiancée

We'd never been close. She'd always been the distant sister. After Mama died, she and Daddy became a team. I'd pretty much had to take care of myself. But now Noe had a TBI; Traumatic Brain Injury, which was the result of the car accident that killed my father. She’d been pinned in the wreckage, crushed between the seat and the dashboard. Her legs were paralyzed, and while there was a glimmer of hope that intense physical therapy might help her regain some mobility, the harsh truth was that she would never be the same as she was before the accident.

But it wasn’t just the paralysis that weighed on her—it was everything that came with it. The depression. The frustration. The sense that her entire life had been ripped away from her. TBI didn’t just affect your body; it scrambled your mind in ways you never saw coming. Cognitive difficulties, mood swings, memory lapses, and constant, gnawing fatigue. It wasn’t just that Noe couldn’t walk—it was that her spirit had been shattered, too.

Despite all the technology, the therapies, and the world-class doctors at Ka Pono Rehabilitation Center, my sister had no fight left in her—only bitterness. She took it out on me, resenting that I couldstill walk, that I had what she didn't. I understood. I really did. I could imagine how suffocating it must feel to be alive, but I find living itself a challenge. She had to start over from scratch. And while others managed to live full, beautiful lives without the use of their legs, Noe was stuck—paralyzed in more ways than one.

I'd done everything I could—was doing all that was possible. When her doctors in Honolulu had told us about Ka Pono, I'd been afraid of the costs but decided that I'd do whatever it took to get Noe there. And I did. All my savings, my father's meager estate,everythingwent into taking care of Noe. Even now, more than half my salary went directly to her care—which meant that I needed every hour of overtime I could get, every shift that I was needed for. I couldn't have a sick day—just couldn't because my budget was incredibly tight.

Leilani, my boss, knew, and when friends asked us to go out, she understood that I couldn't. I didn't have the money for it, and I couldn't let her pay for me. So, I stayed at home, which I didn't mind. I'd always been an introvert, and since I worked with people—saw them, interacted with them all day—after work and at night, I needed to spend time with myself and recharge my batteries.

I had no days off. I worked six days a week at the resort, and on Wednesdays, which was my day off, after I spent time with Noe, I worked from four in the evening through midnight at the Lava Lua Tiki Lounge, mixing and serving drinks.

Was I exhausted? Fuck, yeah. Did I have a choice? I wish.

I went back to my cottage, took a shower to wash off the sand from the beach and the day, and went to bed. I dreamed about Deanagain. He'd had recurring roles in my subconscious for the past four years.

I had tried to date, but the way my life was centered around paying for Noe's treatments, there hadn't been the time, energy, or even the inclination to get off. When I did manage to have sex, it had been rushed and hurried—a release and nothing more. Itmade me feel worse about myself. I didn't have time to build relationships, and one-night stands were not my thing.

I was tired when I woke up with Dean on my brain.

The only blessing was that it was my day off, so I didn't need to rush to the resort. I did have to go see Noe. I checked the air in my bicycle tire and started the ride to Ka Pono. I didn't have a car—that was for people who could afford insurance payments.

Kauai was my favorite of all the Hawaiian islands. It wasn't a hardship to live here. It was quiet—not as touristy as the big island.

One half of the island was tropical, while the other was a desert. At night, where the resort was, it rained, creating small waterfalls on the surrounding hills. In the morning, it was sunshine and blue skies. It was an incredible piece of paradise, so bicycling gave me the opportunity to see the island and was good exercise, I reminded myself. It was forty-five minutes one way to Ka Pono—so I had muscles within muscles in my legs.

Ka Pono was beautiful—fabulous, really. It sat nestled into the cliffs of the Kauai coastline. It featured open terraces, large windows that let in the endless ocean views, and gardens filled with native Hawaiian flowers. Inside, it was all sleek lines and quiet spaces—state-of-the-art therapy rooms, soft lighting, and calming tones. It didn't feel like a hospital at all. It felt more like a retreat, a place to heal both body and mind. I had hoped the atmosphere would lift Noe's spirits and maybe inspire her to fight harder, but she remained trapped in her bitterness.

"You're leaving me here," she had hissed when we'd come to Ka Pono,"so, you can live your life."

On other days, she'd just lie in bed and accuse me of having a better life."You can walk…I can never do that again. Every time I look at you, I hate you for having what I don't."

I wished I could stop going to see her and had done so for a week, which had upset Noe so much that Ka Pono had called me. It appeared that I was Noe's punching bag, and she needed me to be the recipient of her vitriol.

Then, there were times she cried, and it broke my heart.

"I know what you're doing for me. For all the times I don't say it, Elika, I am grateful. I just…you have your legs, I don't and…I can't believe my life is over. I'm so jealous of you. So jealous, and I can't do anything about it."

She had begged me often enough not to leave her be. In Hawaii, it wasn’t uncommon for people to slip into Pidgin English when emotions ran high, and Noe was no exception.

"No hate me, Elika. Please, no hate me. I know I being a bitch, but you all I got. Promise me you never going let me go. I'll be lost without you."

Every night when we talked, I told her I loved her, and every time we saw each other, I reminded her again. I promised her I’d always be there for her—because she wasn’t just the only family she had; she was the only family I had, too.

When I got to Ka Pono, Noe's nurse warned me that it wasn't a good day. Noe was in a darker place than usual.

"So, glad you're here," Nurse Malia Kanoa, who had been with Noe for the past two years, said to me as soon as she saw me.

"What happened?" I asked Malia.

"She feels she's not making enough progress, though Dr. Iona thinks that she's made so much. Do you know she can wiggle her toes now?" Malia sounded mildly exasperated, which was saying something since she was someone I had never seen rattled. But then, Noe wasn't an easy patient.

"Yeah, I know. I thought she'd be over the moon about it."

Malia shook her head but kept her face expressionless. "She's been impossible, screaming, crying, calling everyone names. It's good you're here. You always calm her down. She needs you."

I knew Noe relied on me. But I wished someone would think about what I wanted for a change. I needed a fucking break. I was exhausted—working nonstop, and on my days off, pouring everything I had into trying to lift Noe’s spirits. It left me completely drained. Part of me just wanted to live my life like a normal young person. But the day Daddy decided to drink and drive with Noe in the car, "normal" went up in flames—just like his car.

When I got to her room, I saw that Malia was right. Noe was throwing herself a pity party. I tamped down my irritation.

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