Page 87 of Playing for Keeps

LOLA’S EPILOGUE, AKA HOW THE STORY ENDS

My exhaustion and nausea put a damper on the happy baby news. Getting more sleep helps with the first problem, but I can’t look at food without a storm whipping up in my stomach. I lose ten pounds in the first month.

Grandma Erin digs into her recipes to find something that might win me over. Yet, no matter how good the meals are, I get nauseous and quit eating.

Poppy suggests sour foods, but those make me vomit. Sweet foods also set off my gag reflex.

“What about spicy?” Clover asks after she and Roxie search online forums for people’s ideas.

That night, Poppy and Emmett make a huge batch of spicy barbecue wings. There’s enough to feed the entire family, yet I eat half of them.

“Baby sister-in-law is a genius,” Val announces. “Oh, and my baby niece is smart, too.”

Clover and Roxie glance at each other and choose to let his “baby” stuff slide since he’s so happy about me eating.

Over the next few months, I only crave spicy foods. I add hot sauce to everything. Thankfully, in my second trimester, my stomach settles down.

I’ve started my last trimester when our house is delivered to the homestead. The two-story farmhouse is white with black trim. The ceilings are high enough for Val’s impressive height, but the place also feels cozy like my apartment.

After we move in, Clover claims my apartment. As much as she loves living in our childhood home, she’s ready to become more independent.

By the time Val and I are moved into our home, we learn our son is actually a daughter.

“Better double-check for a thingy,” Celeste warns us when she hears the news. “Those little suckers hide real good apparently.”

The second and third ultrasounds give us the same news. We’re having a girl.

“Don’t cry,” I tell Val when he can’t stop smiling. “A daughter is a good thing.”

“I hope my princess looks just like her ma.”

Lina Mercer doesnotlook like me.At least, not for a while.She doesn’t look like Val, either. Instead, she’s the spitting image of Poppy as a baby.

“I’ve created a mini-Ma!” Val announces to his family after I give birth.

I hold our daughter and stare in awe.How did she turn out so blonde?

“You had lighter hair when you were a baby,” Grandma Erin insists. “Lina also has your pouty lips.”

I don’t know why Lina’s blonde hair bothers me so much. On my first night home, I start crying about it and can’t stop.

“You imagined her looking different,” Duke says when I sit on the couch and sob. “Now, you’re worried about what else you’ve imagined wrong.”

Realizing he’s right, I cry harder. “I’m a bad mom.”

“No, baby, you’re tired and hormonal. You were so sure the baby would be a little boy like Val. Then, you imagined a little girl like you and Clover. You need to give yourself a few days to stop thinking about the baby you imagined. Then, you’ll be able to start loving the baby you actually have.”

“Did you feel that way with me?”

Duke gives me a sheepish grin and nods. “Kerrie didn’t want to know what we were having. I went along with it since Ithought I didn’t care. But in my head, you were a boy. Once you were born, I didn’t know what to do with my dreams for my son.”

Wiping my eyes, I’m comforted by my father’s honesty. After all, he clearly got over his disappointment.

“When did you feel okay with me being a girl?”

“I was on night feeding duty with you. It was easy those first few nights. I’d have you changed, fed, and back in bed in thirty minutes. But that particular night, you were really alert and fussy. So, I sat up with you and thought about how I’d been so sure you’d be a boy.”

Across the living room, Val quietly listens to Duke. Our baby girl is cuddled in his arms, just like I once was in my daddy’s.

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