Page 26 of Playing for Keeps

“My great-great-grandma.”

Leaning down until our noses are inches apart, I smile. “Well, my great-great grandma’s coochie brought peace andrainbows. I believe the effects of her lady region will thoroughly defeat your curse.”

Lola rolls her eyes. “You think your stuff is always better than my stuff.”

“How can you say that when your stuffismy stuff?”

“This marriage is a business agreement.”

“Involving two people who want to grind hips until they need physical therapy to recover.”

Lola stops studying the crowd and turns toward me. She tilts her head back to see me better, and I smile at how teeny-tiny she seems right now.

“I’m not sure I like you that way,” Lola claims as a chilly breeze bursts from her mouth and other orifices to announce she’s lying.

“I made you come just through the power of my dry-humping skills.”

“I did most of the work that night.”

“Work? You only had to let me fill my hands with your plentiful bosoms and I jizzed to my heart’s delight. You call that work? Come on now. Let’s not pretend you were roofing a house that night.”

Lola smiles at my words before going cold again. “I’ve let many men play with the girls.”

“Never again, though. They’re mine. I’m claiming them and your coochie and most importantly,” I say and rest my hand on her left boob, “your heart.”

“We’ll see. I just want you to do right by my family. That’s important to my heart. I’m less interested in the coochie part.”

“You’re clearly horny right this second,” I taunt and glance down at her crotch. “Soon, sweet pussy, I’ll make you purr.”

Lola sighs. “I fear once you hit this,” she says, directing both of her hands toward her sweet pussy, “you’ll try to weasel outof the deal. I should probably withhold sex until our second wedding anniversary.”

“First of all,” I announce dramatically, “there’s less than a zero chance you can tame your pussy for two whole years. Remember how you’ll be seeing me strutting naked around the house.” I pause to flex my muscles and spin slowly around so she can get a good look at the muscled hunk she’ll soon enjoy. “Second of all—”

“Second of all?”

“Third of all,” I continue rather than acknowledge her mockery, “I’ve long wanted to be club president, but that was never going to happen in Tumbling Rock unless my brother was mangled by a tractor or killed by a falling tree.”

“That seems overly specific.”

“I had a nightmare when I was fourteen where West nearly got mangled by a tractor. He was running away from it when he was smashed by a falling tree. I assumed the dream was prophetic.”

“Sure, why wouldn’t you?”

“So, if West was gone, I could sweep into the president spot when Court wants to retire. But I’d be sad all the time. West is my bestest friend because of how most men are intimidated by my Adonis-like good looks. Only my brother and cousins can look at me without feeling like fuggos. It’s why we’re bonded so tightly.”

“Of course. I can see how your good looks would intimidate other men.”

“Exactly.”

“So maybe you won’t do well as president of the Blood-Red Suns. You’re probably too pretty for them to obey.”

“Oh, Lola, how can you talk shit about your own father like that?” I taunt, and Lola rolls her eyes as I point at Duke. “Look at him over there, enduring Auntie Justice’s interrogation. Howcan you say he’s a dog? Can you at least admit your pa is a golden retriever or another attractive pooch?”

“Shut up about my dad.”

“Duke’s got the quiet dignity of a German Shephard. Too bad his daughter views him as a droopy-faced bulldog.”

Lola tries to hit me in the arm, but I move back and flee her hormonal rage. I assume her anger comes from her unsatisfied pussy. Until it purrs, I might need to run away a lot.

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