Page 103 of Modern Romance January 2025 1-4

Portia stifled regret. It was churlish to worry that she’d always be a lesser priority to him than his children. She’d accepted that when she’d agreed to marry him. She had no false hope that he loved her now as he once had.

Yet she felt a little better for blurting out her deepest anxiety. Seeing Lex’s response to her news, knowing he felt some of the same emotions, eased something inside her. Even just burrowing into his body, letting his strength and heat act like balm to her wounded soul made a difference.

Her mother used to say a problem shared was a problem halved. Yet Portia had spent so long reliant only on herself, she’d got out of the habit of opening up.

She doubted anything would ever completely take away the pain of losing her baby, but it seemed her mum was right. Maybe talking about this was part of a healing process.

‘Thanks, Lex. You’re right. Talking about it does help.’

‘I wish I’d known about our child all those years ago.’

She stiffened, sitting straighter and putting some distance between them, though he still embraced her.

Would he have stayed by her if he’d known about the baby?

Of course he would.

But his words brought back the terror she’d felt, so young and facing an unexpected pregnancy on her own.

‘I never did get my phone back. But I tried to call you later. You didn’t pick up, remember?’

Lex looked uncomfortable. ‘I’m not blaming you. I know I let you down.’

Did he have any idea how much it hurt that he’d been so ready to believe the worst of her?

He read her distress. ‘I’m sorry, Portia. I was young, proud and hurting. I was an idiot, believing that lie even for a second.’

Whereas she, even younger than he’d been, had taken far too long to realise the man she adored and for whom she’d given up everything, hadn’t believed in her.

That had been the crucial difference between them. Portia had loved him with her whole heart. Had pined for him for years, despite his desertion. But Lex...maybe he’d thought himself in love but it couldn’t have been real. Liking and lust maybe.

‘I hate that I abandoned you. It makes me sick to the stomach, thinking of all you endured alone because I let pride blind me to what I should have known.’ He paused. ‘You were the first person I really believed in. I think that’s why I reacted so badly when I thought you’d just amused yourself with me. I behaved appallingly. I’m surprised you had anything to do with me when we met again.’

‘So was I.’ She’d tried, heaven help her. But she hadn’t been able to resist the deep-seated yearning. ‘It wasn’t what I’d intended.’

Because she knew having anything to do with Lex was bound to hurt her.

Because even after all she’d been through, she’d never quite shaken her weakness for him.

Call it what it is! You’ve been hiding from it too long.

Love. You love him.

He only had to sweep back into your life to have you sharing his bed. And when you discovered you were pregnant you went to him. Not because you couldn’t cope alone but because, no matter what lies you told yourself, you wanted another chance with him.

Even though it’s the baby he loves, not you. You can’t walk away from him, can you?

You’re going to marry him and make the best of this convenient marriage.

He’s a good man. Caring. Honourable. Passionate.

You can’t let it matter that he’ll never love you.

Portia looked down to where one large masculine hand gripped hers, needing to hide the hot tears welling behind her lashes.

‘Chrysi mou.’To her amazement his voice was unsteady.

She blinked furiously and raised her head. He looked...ravaged. Not like the powerhouse billionaire and confident lover she knew. He looked as upset as she felt.

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