Page 72 of Wicked Devotions: Part 2

Cillian.

The baby.

They all need me. I have to survive. I will survive.

The door swings open, and all the hope I had deflates in my chest like someone took a pin to a balloon. The man from earlier stands in the doorway, a patch sitting over his left eye and an angry sneer on his face.

“Do you think anyone can hear you out here?” He pulls back his foot and kicks me in the leg. “Dumb bitch. No one is coming for you. They wouldn’t know where to find you even if they knew who I was. It’s actually pretty rude of Annabelle to not recognize me. I worked for your daddy for about two years before he got locked up. But no, that stuck up bitch was too busy living her high society life to know who the staff at that church were.”

“I recognize you,” I say with a wince. “You were part time, right? Worked with Jerome?”

His knees hit the floor beside my head, and he yanks my head back by my hair. Pain erupts behind my eyes. Tears leak out of my eyes as I fight to stay conscious.

“What’s my name?”

“I can’t remember,” I mumble.

My head slams against the wood plank beneath me.

“Stuck up bitch just like her, aren’t ya?”

“No, no. I can’t think when you’re slamming my head against the floor.”

He stands and puts his boot on my chest. “Is this better?” He slowly adds his body weight.

“No,” I say, already struggling for breath.

He has a piece of gauze taped around his eye. I hope he loses it. I hope he dies.

“How’s your eye?” I ask.

“Don’t taunt me,” he spits his wad of tobacco out on my chest. “I might lose it, and if I do, I’m gonna visit you with Russell, and he’s promised I could take my time having fun with you. By then you’ll be nice and broken in.”

My stomach turns. With each breath my lung capacity shrinks from the force of his weight on my chest. I’d rather suffocate than be some asshole’s sex toy.

“He wanted you to be a virgin when he broke you in, you know? Then he was going to loan you out the way your dad loaned out your mom. Turn you into nothing more than a whore like she was.”

He pulls his boot off as I struggle to catch my breath. The lack of oxygen makes it hard to think, even if I could move, I’d probably just lie here.

“Guess you already have been broken in though, maybe I can take a turn now. He doesn’t have to know.”

Oh god. No. No, no, no. Bile works its way up my raw throat as he kneels down beside me once again and shoves his hand between my thighs. I try to roll away, but the sudden movement causes a sharp pain to explode in my chest.

“You’ll keep my secret, won’t you, slut?” He presses his fingers against the apex of my thighs, pressing so hard all I can think about is the pain.

If I’m going to survive this, I have to lock myself in my mind. Turn off the world around me and settle into the quiet place in my mind that separates itself from my pain. I’m vaguely aware of him pulling down my joggers.

His excited pants as he works to free me of the clothes I put on this morning disgust me. It’s all I hear though until the sound of another boat motoring down the channel gets his attention. He stands, leaving me there on the floor and walks out into the night.

Vaguely in the background I hear a commotion. There’s shouting and the sound of a scuffle, but all I’m thinking about is Annie. How beautiful and calm she makes me as I sit astride her and she takes me around the pen. Her trusting big, brown eyes and gentle whinnies sooth my fears.

Inexplicably my mind carries me to the deep green eyes of my stepbrother. The man who’s been obsessed with me since the moment we met. I let the safety of his love radiate through me. Cy’s soft love and hard body wrap around me, anchoring me in the knowledge of how he cherishes me. Emerson’s quiet belief and trust in me to handle myself warms me. It’s like he’s here with me. Holding me. Finally, there’s Banks. My best friend. My first love. He’d lift me in his arms and shield me from anything bad or scary. I feel them with me. They’re holding me, protecting me from miles away.

Will they still want me after I’ve been ruined by this disgusting man? Will they shun me for being raped? Will anyone believe me? At least he just has me and not Mom. I can survive this, she’s been through enough.

My mind is completely separate from my body now. I feel nothing but sweet numbness. Void of everything. The pain has melted away, it’s nothing but a murky puddle beneath me ready to be absorbed back into my body when I can no longer keep my physical being from my mental.

Even the sound of gunshots doesn’t pull me from my trance. The door swings open, crashing into the wall, and the bright beam of light from a flashlight shines onto me. I barely react, my vision once again dimming, but not before I see green eyes.

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