Page 88 of What If I Knew You

Once I hit eighteen he was adamant about not allowing his guys to charm me into anything. I guess in a way he was still trying to protect me, but I think really, he just didn’t want anything to be awkward had I gotten involved with one of his players and things didn’t work out.

I followed that rule easily over the years.

But now…

I had every opportunity to step back and say no, and I didn’t.

I willingly walked into a physical relationship with Bodhi Roche.

I allowed myself to be wooed by his charm and his vulnerability.

I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind.

I crave him when he’s not around me and that scares me because I think I really like him. And not for his hockey playing or because he’s a player on my dad’s team, but for the raw, honest, compassionate man that I’ve come to know outside of the sport.

This whole thing, whatever it is between us, got very messy in a matter of seconds and now I have to somehow make this right.

“It’s okay if you want to cut our lunch short,” Dad says. “We’re all allowed to have bad days every now and then. As long as you don’t let it get you down too long. Better days are ahead.” He squeezes my hand. “I promise.”

I’m not so sure.

“Thanks Dad. Yeah I think I want to just head home and…I don’t know.”

Find Bodhi.

“Maybe I’ll just unpack another box or decorate a little bit. Something to bring a little of this sunshine into my mind.” I glance up at the cloudy sky. “Though it doesn’t look as though we’ll see too much sun today.”

“It’s California so you never know,” he says with a soft chuckle. “May as well be productive while you can, right?” He winks and I try to give him a convincing smile even though my mind is racing, my body is sweating, and my heart is pounding against my chest.

I have to find Bodhi and talk this out with him somehow.

I refuse to go home until I find him.

But where do I even begin to look?

I wrap my lunch up in the to-go bag it came in and toss it in the trash next to our picnic table. “Hey thanks for introducing me to Bodhi and Ella. They seem cool.”

Dad smiles. “Yeah. Ella’s a sweetheart of a girl. She’s a hard worker too. In fact, you should introduce her to Layken. I’m sure Layken could get her to show up at the hospital in costume for those kids.”

“That’s a great idea Dad. Did you say they’re living in the same complex as some of the other team members?”

He nods. “Yeah. August, Ella, and Griffin are in the same building. And thank goodness a place opened up and I was able to get Bodhi in there too.”

Yes!

I know where that is.

He has to be there.

And if he’s not, I can wait him out.

I’ve got all day.

“Oh, that’s good. I’m sure he appreciates that.”

“He’s a good kid. A little rough starting out. His head was a little bigger than the guys liked but they set him straight pretty fucking fast.”

“I suppose so with the pickle pants stunt and all.”

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