Page 86 of What If I Knew You

Yeah.

I think I do.

That’s what I want to say, but I feel like if I say them out loud, I’m damning myself to an eternity of hell from my coach. And that’s if I’m lucky enough to stay on the team. And even if I do say them, who’s to say Corrigan feels the same way? For all I know she’s just in this to fuck a hockey player.

My chest tightens and my stomach churns at the thought.

“Yeah, he does,” Ledger finally answers for me. “You can see it on his face. He looks the same way August used to look when we would talk about you.” He nods at Ella. “Plus, he told us as much earlier today.”

“What if I do? What would I do about it? I feel like I might be completely fucked at this point. And I don’t even know if she feels the same way. Between this and that other guy I feel like this is a double whammy.”

“You’re going to have to talk to her,” Barrett finally says. “The only way you’ll be able to figure all this out is to know exactly how she feels too. And then you can take it from there.”

“Bear’s right.” Ledger picks up his glass and takes a drink. “This can go a few ways. One, you tell her you have feelings for her and she tells you she feels the same and you navigate this relationship together. Two, you tell her how you feel and she doesn’t feel the same at which point you apologize sincerely for any confusion between the two of you and walk away. Or three, she tells her dad and blames this all on you and you’re utterly and completely fucked.”

I bow my head, accepting my fate even though it scares the absolute shit out of me.

“You’re right. I need to talk to her. If for no other reason than to clear the air and let her know I really had no idea who she was.”

“You’ve got this, Roche.” Oliver’s reassuring glance gives me a tiny sliver of hope. “August and I will tell you, we’ve had to get through a few hard days to end up with the partners we now have.”

“He’s right,” August says as he lays his arm around Ella’s shoulders and kisses the side of her head. “Ella and I were best friends before we got together. We had to have those hard conversations.”

Ella’s face contorts and she turns toward August. “Uh, I don’t recall it happening like that. If I remember correctly you fucking kissed me while I was crying over a horrible date and then told me I belonged to you.”

“Yeah but it was romantic as hell, you have to admit.” Ella blushes as she rolls her eyes, which makes August laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I push my chair from the table and stand up. “I’ve got to go.”

“But what about your wiener?” Griffin shouts, holding up my basket of lunch.

“There’s no way I can eat a wiener right now, Griff. You eat it. Eat my wiener. I’ll catch you later.”

“Hey wait!” Ella turns in her chair as I stop to see what she wants.

“What?”

“A word of advice?”

“Okay, yeah?”

“It’s supposed to rain later and if it does, you make sure you kiss her in the rain.”

I narrow my eyes. “What?”

“Do it! Trust me, Bodhi. It’s super romantic and she’ll love it.”

“Uh…okay…is that all?”

“Yep. That’s it.” August nods and offers me a fist bump. “Go get her big guy.”

I bump my fist with his and walk away but hear Ella mumble to him, “Oh my God, Auggie. Don’t call him big guy. He’s not a child. He’s a man.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CORRIGAN

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

---