Page 8 of What If I Knew You

“You know what? Fuck it. I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me so…” My thumbs make quick work of my thoughts before I hit send.

Me

Also, I know this is none of my business but please tell me you’re not sitting at Mario’s on a date right now completely ignoring some nice naïve girl while texting me your food porn.

Mr. Stranger

Food porn! That’s good. And I could be saying the same thing to you. What if some hopeful guy is sitting across the table from you assuming he’s getting laid tonight and you’re paying more attention to my food porn instead of setting yourself up for an epic night of…you know…adult porn.

Me

Who said I was an adult?

Mr. Stranger

Oh fuck! I mean shit! No. Hell! I’m sorry, kid. Please delete these texts and pretend I didn’t say a word. Won’t bother you again. My apologies. It was just an innocent text, I swear.

Me

LOL. Relax perv. You’re not messing with an underage brain. I promise, I’m an adult.

Mr. Stranger

That’s exactly what I would expect a kid to say. “I promise I’m an adult.” What are you going to do next, pinky swear?

Me

Hey, don’t knock the pinky swear. That’s like a blood promise to some.

Mr. Stranger

How can I be sure you’re an adult? You going to send me a pic?

Me

Yeah. Let me hop into ChatGPT and see what AI can come up with. You want blonde? Brunette? Big boobs and kissy lips or old woman in daisy dukes?

Mr. Stranger

LOL. Alright good point.

Me

For the record. I’m not on a date. I’m sitting on my living room floor watching T.V. and eating alone.

Me

Also, I don’t know why I’m telling you this other than to make it clear I’m not a shallow human who ignores people around her. Not that it matters what some total stranger thinks of me, but still.

Mr. Stranger

I get it. And just so you know, I’m also not on a date. Just moved to town not too long ago and don’t have a ton of time for making friends. Work keeps me pretty busy.

Me

Same. I just got off an 18 hr shift. I’d ask what you do but I feel like that’s too personal considering you’re a complete stranger.

Mr. Stranger

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