Page 69 of What If I Knew You

Probably should unpack. I still have a living room full of boxes. I had to dive into a box in my bedroom just to find clean underwear because I’m that backed up on my own fucking laundry. My father would be so disappointed in my hot mess of a life.

Alan

We’ll come back and unpack your father and whatever hold he might have on your life later (because I get it) but you’re not allowed to say you’ll unpack on your day off. Tell me what you do for fun.

Me

You mean besides meet men by accidentally texting them and then offer to teach them everything I know about sex?

Alan

Whatever guy takes you up on that offer is an asshole. Tell him to fuck off.

Me

Are you kidding? That would be a terrible idea.

Alan

Why is that? He’s a total stranger who you don’t even know and you’re literally bringing him into your home and letting him do all sorts of ridiculously hot sensual things to your body.

Me

*shrugs* Maybe I’m a stupid naïve woman but 1. The guy is hot AF. 2. He seems relatively nice, and 3. He’s a virgin, which means he hasn’t been tainted by skanky-ass women. That makes him a hot commodity and I would be a fool to toss him aside.

Alan

Well, whoever that guy is, he better consider himself a lucky bastard because it sounds like you might be the best thing to ever happen in his life in a very long time.

Me

*blushes* Well, I don’t know if I would go that far. I’m not a perfect person. Maybe I’m just a horny slut who is taking full advantage of the poor guy.

Alan

I seriously doubt that. But for the sake of argument, let’s say that you are taking advantage. Is he at least…you know…comparable? To past playmates? I mean I’m only asking because obviously you wouldn’t want to take advantage if the guy is less than stellar.

Me

You know, I can’t lie…for a beginner, he’s far superior to any other playmate I’ve ever had.

Alan

Uh…wow. That’s umm, quite the compliment. That guy really is a fucking lucky man.

Me

And I am equally lucky.

FRIDAY

I toss my keys onto the counter and kick the door closed behind me. The weight of this day, no, this whole week, has me wanting to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. I don’t think I’ve experienced a week this bad since the day I found Leo bent over Gale Wittindom in the on-call room back in London.

Fuck you, Leo.

I move down the hall toward my bedroom and search through one of the open boxes for the comfiest pair of pajama pants I can find along with an oversized sweatshirt and toss it on my bed. I grab a clean towel but before I head to the bathroom for the longest hottest shower I can stand my phone dings in my pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Bodhi. Well, Alan to him, but only because he still doesn’t know that I know who he is.

Maybe I should just tell him.

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